Random avatar

Yatta!

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: on writing

    Okay, the first comment was an accident, but this is actually a review now. Haha. First impression: I liked it. It has a unique use of the poetical structure, rather ...

    Jul 30, 2012
  • Poetry » General, General Re: idk

    Haha. I hope so. That would be an interesting read. I like the idea. And the imagery. And even putting it in a poem this way. One issue: "literature sits ...

    Jul 21, 2012
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Cyclic Sunrise

    Hey, I'm just doing some casual edits, on my part. Overall, it is good, but I just want to offer some gentle suggestions. "Cyclic Sunrise"

    Jun 23, 2012
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Mankind

    Initially, I didn't want to review this work. Why? Because it made me terribly uncomfortable. It evoked a real emotional response. Lets investigate this response and see what we can ...

    Jun 23, 2012
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Plan B

    Two lines saved this poem: "She hates him for this, But loves him for everything else." Those two lines pack a big punch. Personally. I'd literally just have that be ...

    Apr 12, 2012
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Cemetary Sitting Realization

    First of all, use punctuation. Really, this is ridiculously hard to read. I can't hold my breath that long and you don't convey yourself clearly without it. If you have ...

    Aug 26, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Dear Kitty

    "who loved him, they're better off than he is and they're better off than I am - for I have been imprisoned by the public and " I caught a ...

    Aug 26, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Darling

    I like it. It's short and sweet and packs a punch. The possessiveness of the speaker over his/her darling is tangible, and it paints a clear distinct image of someone ...

    May 27, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: It's Funny

    This isn't a real critique. I'm just going to tell you how I "feel" about this poem. I don't think this poem is true to you. I don't feel any ...

    Jul 11, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: random

    lol are you serious? Honest initial impression (HII): I laughed and thought it was a joke. I read it twice and my HII still stands. It's a clever rhyme you ...

    Jul 11, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: My Mother and I

    I was scrolling through the "new" dramatic poems and I noticed yours because no one had written you a reply but now I understand why. When you stumble upon a ...

    Jul 11, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Can You See The Lettering?

    Well, it seems I really only have one critique, to be honest. Just work on making your metaphors more concrete? There is a lot of sensuality and imagery, but I ...

    Feb 8, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Romance of Jupiter

    Excuse me for a minute, I am going to be blunt. WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!! Achille's heel?!?! YOUR GREEK METAPHORS ARE OFF! His heel was a weakness, you can TOTALLY live ...

    Feb 8, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Happy

    Just a warning. I am going to give you a real and clear honest critique. It might upset you, so if it does, stop reading after this first paragraph, but ...

    Feb 8, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Violin-Fiddle

    Like a Fiddler? I would entitle it "Fiddler on the Roof" ;), wouldn't that be ironic. I'm sure you know of that old tale. In concerns to the poem at ...

    Jan 3, 2009


I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope