Xena

oh... so this is a metaphor for god?... as a book...? what? gandi did suzoo tell you this... or did you deduct all that just from reading it... your pretty ...

huhh... ummmmm.... alright. so theres homes for pregnent girls.. kind of like half way houses? or like homeless shelters? that these girls go to live untill they "kick the baby" ...

hmmm... i dont think you can do that... stop-beating... i dont think thats a... a word. but it should be,,, it should be. i like the idea, but how is ...

hmm maybe ur not a cheerleading robot, but you sure are as conceded as one!!! oooohhh... no im kidding... you had a few good lines in here.... id take those.. ...

I was stood on the rooftop in the rain, WHAT ARE you, SIMPLE!!?.. no but really.. whats up with that? A gun to my head again. I have never really ...

Well, if Henry entered the prize, he might have a chance getting the prize. enterered the prize, chance at getting the prize? badly worded, i dont like it... remove it... ...

hehehe unfurled.. thats a funny word.. like hippopotomuses... the hippopotomus unfurrled his gangly tounge. you can use that one if you want.. but anyway.. and what if i do still ...

ha.... haha... :elephant:

fargh again... tooo many commas no more commas noooo noooooooooo!... i take it you like guys with ebony black hair.... and well i think this girl has horrible tastes,,, anywho, ...

this hurt... pretty pain ful but i reached the end.... ugh i kept skimming through and then it was like weird so i had to go bauck up and read ...

ok first of all... sarsha, youre a moron... no lol jk!... no its a good story.. the opening paragraph though, might be a little too much. like, your saying a ...

dont listne to yatta ay... listen to me!!! "Seth shook his bandmate, finally deciding to just slap him a couple times with the pillow, safely tucked in a green and ...

not bad, not bad i guess... the whole creepy guy in the window IS pretty creepy... but i think she would of been alot safer in the club with all ...

humm i guess it was pretty good,, so far. well, actually I just pretty much liekd the ending... the only thing i can see that gives sparkle any personality really ...

hmmm... huhmmmmm.. hmm manchester england, 1831 was it? hmm i think this sounded more like, liverpool, 1903. I dont think they used "cool" as a state of being... knwo what ...