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  • Short Story » General, General Re: TBOTB

    Hi there, FireArris! :wink: This was cute; I'm not sure if there's any more to it, but it was short and cute, a good stand alone dialogue. So, here's what ...

    Jul 10, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Syradrum 9 (Last Words)

    *sniffles* Myles is dead! :cry: My poor Myles. I could rant this entire post about how sad I am Myles died, but somehow I don't think that would help you. ...

    Jul 9, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Chance Chapter 1

    Hello there, Lucky Duck! You have a nice start here - an idea with a lot of potential, and Maura is a neat name. So, here's what I'm going to ...

    Jun 29, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Waiting In Between, Ch.1, The Dream

    Like Claudette said, you really need to post more of this. Also, this seemed like a repetition of the prologue; you were saying a very similar thing, just giving us ...

    Jun 24, 2007
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Spill

    I agree with those above. It was a - well - interesting idea, but it was too wordy. When something is too wordy, it means that the amount of words ...

    Jun 24, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Waiting In Between, Prouloge

    An interesting concept here, though I do not fully understand it. Like others, I was irked by the uniform sentence structure. Variety is your friend. A few technical things... She ...

    Jun 24, 2007
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Lunch Time

    :shock: Claudette, dear, I think you need to cut down on the cannibalism. It was a cute poem, nevertheless. The rhyming seemed a bit forced at times, but it was ...

    Jun 23, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Singer ch. 3

    Hello Twinflower! I enjoyed this immensely. Your writing is as vibrant as ever, and your pace is great. Not rushed at all, yet not dragging either - perfect. Your description ...

    Jun 23, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Color My World -Chapter Two

    Hey there, JC! I'm glad I got around to reading this. I still love the voice, and your story is developing nicely. Truly wonderful. Only a few things... Melodramatic thinking, ...

    Jun 23, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Awakening Ch.1

    I second everything Claudette said, especially about the first chapter. I'm not going to reiterate everything she said, but I will give you some suggestions in the introduction. Obviously, Fawn ...

    Jun 23, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Singer ch.2

    Hey there, Twinflower! Mmm, this was very enjoyable. I love the names of your characters. :D Your pace is nice, and the characterization is coming along. Great bit of writing ...

    Jun 19, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Yerrida - Before the Laori snatch her off

    Hey Elein! I'm glad I finally got to this; it was a joy to read. Aside from all the typos, your writing style was great and, though the number of ...

    Jun 18, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Just one girl.

    I echo Claudette. You made an effort at painting a scene in the reader's mind to help convey your theme, but it still needs some work. Imagery is the most ...

    Jun 18, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Color My World- 1

    *rated R for language* (one mention of F word = R :wink:) Hey JCobsesed! I loved your voice in this piece; it was very unique and biting. I usually don't ...

    Jun 17, 2007
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Romanticness

    Hello, there, author! I like your writing style - it flows beautifully, and your characters have very natural dialogue. It is very hard to critique excerpts from large pieces of ...

    Jun 16, 2007


Some people are hourglass shaped, some people are apple shaped, some people are pear shaped, some people are even bean pole shaped, but if we’re not careful we all become banana shaped. This is your gentle posture reminder.
— Ranger