Wolf

Oh! Terribly sorry about that. Now, how about I try to give you a better critique? This is excellent as it is, but I noticed that the whole thing is ...

Back to review the edit - and now that I'm more competent in the subtle art of criting, hopefully it'll be a better review. :wink: Shaking her head, she tacitly ...

Thank-you! I have actually decided to start my novel differently; but all these critiques shall not be wasted. I might stick with this idea...and if I don't, I'll use it ...

Azila: Thanks for the tips! I did write this just...randomly, because I was struggling with writer's block and felt that I should write SOMETHING or I would go insane. :} ...

Thanks everyone! Maybe I should get this moved to Other Fiction, though, because its flash fiction. But I am considering incorporating this into a large story...if that is the case, ...

Thanks, both of you. :) R.J. Hoffman: Thanks for the tip, I'll break it up a little. And yes, I love the ocean. ^_^ Derek_Fantasy: Thank-you! :} But being a ...

Thanks for the review! =) Its supposed to be vague, though. But I might explain a tiny bit....

Ok, I edited this a little. I've fixed the tense issues, but I've decided to keep the 'green trees white snow red blood!' line the way it is because it ...

This is going to take me a loooong time to critique, but I will soldier through! The fire began to die down as the woman threw water from the ocean ...

Yeah, you're probably right about that. ^_~ BUt all the same, I couldnn't help but feel a little shocked. So, has anyone else read anything of Twain's?

I will! :) And putting it in italics is an awesome idea! I'll definitely do that.

Thanks! It does help! Yes...I've printed out parts one and two of Ch. 1 and I've been editing them, adding more of her background and appearance and motives for her ...

Thank-you so much! :D I'll definitely fix those things - I've decided to edit this piece to perfection. Or as close as I can get to perfection, anyways. :lol: Now ...

Thanks Alainna! :D Yeah, I think I'll scrap that first paragraph, or at least re-write it. And I'll fix those phrases too. ^_^ Cheers, Camille

Thanks Squallz! :D Man, I should really go review something of yours! I owe you for all the times you've reviewed my work. Anyways, I will [try to] explain her ...