WeasleyDragonStar

Is this supposed to take place in the Middle East, or a fantasical place replicating the Middle East? The names sound very Arabic (some of my Arab family was over ...

This is very good, lucid writing style. There is a nice balance of simple and purple words (a bit more purple is needed, maybe). I'm just a bit confused (I ...

Is this about Joan of Arc? If it is, how much research is involved? Is much of this guesswork and basic information, or did you take detailed notes? I'm not ...

It's emotional, that's for sure. The writing style could be shaped up a bit more. Try to tone down on the f-word. I think it's best if you use it ...

I think your voice is that of a teenager's, which is progressive, and lucid. Could be fixed in areas. The story just continues, never stopping, which is nice. You might ...

The dialogue is realistic and efficient and easy to read--I like it. However, your writing style throughout could use some work--I would recommend being a bit less choppy, and come ...

The story was too transitional. I used to do the same thing, trust me. "After five minutes...three days after..." I would recommend making the story a bit more legato. I ...

"At the front of the stage were the lead singers; Furawa Shinouta and Senshi Buraddo. Furawa had coal black hair that was let loose around her voluptuous body. She had ...

I myself am a bit confused about the time period, but I like this a lot. A bit confusing, however I think it's because it's one of those stories where ...

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you've healed a bit. Really great story, and it's only been improved from your last post. A few grammatical errors, which will need ...

I've always wanted to write some contemporary fiction circulating around a messed up family life and gangs and everything. I'm a believer in figurative language (I'm a Dickens person!), so ...

I'm a big believer in figurative language, so the writing style isn't my thing. But, if that's the voice you're going for, then I would recommend it. Your writing is ...

Number 1: I like that you chose to do it about the Germans. Maybe The Book Thief had some inspiration behind this? Number 2: I am very picky with writing ...

Here's my review for your prologue: It's a bit unoriginal. A girl runs into an agency, there's guys with guns, she begins fighting them. I'm afraid that similar story lines ...

The writing style is not my favorite. It's a bit choppy and contemporary for my taste. There were many simple mistakes (using "he" where you were supposed to use "she" ...