The next few days passed in much the same way. Everyone was enjoying themselves, becoming tan, strong and intelligent under the new regime. When Willow called "Land ho!" from the crows nest on the morning of the fifth day, everyone ran to the bow of the ship to catch a glimpse of the fuzzy green speck. Over the next few hours the details grew, and everyone was distracted from their work and lessons. By the evening, they were coming into port. Rhea was shouting instructions at the top of her lungs, and after five days of practice on the open seas, the crew was put to the test. They were able to dock the ship with only a few minor scrapes, and Bella paid the docking fee from the ships treasury.
"We're leaving tomorrow at sunrise, ladies," Rhea called as everyone left the ship, "Don't wander off by yourself, and be back here to cast off or we will leave without you!"
The crew scattered. The sun was just going down as Rhea and Bella entered the first tavern on their circuit. Rhea had told Bella all about the port and the kind of people it attracted, and she felt excited, albeit a little nervous.
“Stop worrying,” she thought to herself sternly as took the first few steps into the crowded room. “If they see you shaking, it’ll give you away. Just look straight ahead and don’t catch anyone’s eye.”
Bella wandered over to a group of sailors playing faro. Rhea was on the other side of the tavern, watching a table play five card poker. Bella followed Rhea’s teachings, staying on the outskirts of the group. Even so, she stood out like a sore thumb, being a woman at the gambling tables. After about ten minutes of watching the men play, one of them reached out to her.
"Are you gonna play with us or just stand there with that scared look in your eyes? We don’t bite -- not until we know you better," the men laughed at his comment, slamming their tankards on the table and spilling rum everywhere.
"I'm not afraid, I just don't know how to play," Bella lied, her voice the lady-like tremor her stepmother was always trying to remind her to use.
"We can fix that, can't we lads?" the man replied and everyone roared in approval. Hands grabbed Bella and pushed her into a seat at the table while the man gave her a quick run down of the rules. Bella nodded and smiled, trying to keep her face as blank and dull as possible. Soon after her brief and incomplete explanation had finished, the men dealt her in and played a round. Bella was careful to stay at the back of the pack, but she did well enough to catch a few eyes.
"Very good missie," the man said to her, "How about we try and make these games a bit more interesting?"
"More interesting?" Bella ask "But how? I only just learned how to play..."
"That's why we'll stack the odds in your favor," the man said, his voice smooth and persuasive, "What money do you have on you?"
"Only a few copper petals," Bella lied again, laying the money on the table.
"Thats fine," the man said, "I'll put down a flower for every one of your petals. We'll play for chips, and whoever has the largest pile at the end wins the money."
He took her coins and added them to his larger and more impressive pile in the middle of the table. Across the room, Bella could see Rhea pulling the same scam, and flashed her a quick smile.
Beating the sailors was easy, much easier than beating Rhea. After only a few minutes, Bella was the undisputed winner, and she swept the money cheerfully into her purse as the men gaped at her. Then, without a word, she stood and went to the door, signalling Rhea who collected her winnings and met her there. It was best not to overstay their welcome.
Bella and Rhea walked down the street of taverns, running their card tricks at every one. By the time they reached the end of the street, they were each ten flowers richer. As they crossed into the dark alley that connected main streets, Bella felt a chill on the back of her neck. She took Rhea's arm and pulled her close, pretending to giggle and bumble about as she had seen the girls of the town do.
"Don't look now, but I think there's someone following us," she hissed in low tones, "now laugh as if I've said something unbelievably funny."
Rhea let out a realistic high pitched, feminine laugh, tossing her hair over her shoulder and glancing behind her as she did.
"Definitely," she confirmed Bella's fear, "We can't fight them all. I saw at least three, but there might be more. They have the advantage this time, and in these stupid girly outfits, we wouldn't stand a chance." Bella looked down at her skirt in disgust. Some women's clothes were found on the ship, and Rhea and Bella had decided that they would look more believable dressed as women. Bella didn't want to think about where the clothes had came from.
They were in the middle of the alley now, and Bella could hear the footsteps’ quickening pace. Rhea pulled her forcefully along, trying to drag them out of harms way. Just as the footsteps behind them broke into a run, the girls exited the alley and darted into the nearest store they could find. Bella’s breath was ragged with adreniline, and she could hear Rhea gasping beside her. They waited, swords drawn, to see if they had been noticed upon their entrance. Bella watched as seven men spilled from the alley, all of which they had cheated out money. They whirled around furiously, but after five minutes of prowling up and down the street, they returned to the dark alley from which they came. Bella and Rhea let out long sighs of relief.
"Next time, lets not take them for so much," Rhea said, and the girls burst out laughing. Bella stopped giggling slowly, and began looking at the shop which had been their haven. It was a bookseller. There were hundreds of books, and she couldn't stop herself from touching them.
"They're beautiful," she murmured reverently, as Rhea looked around with little interest.
"You have money," Rhea reminded her, "I just don't know why you would want to spend it on pieces of paper with little scribblings on them."
"Laugh all you want," Bella said, pulling books from shelves and filling her arms, "But books kept me sane for the first eighteen years of my life."
Rhea rolled her eyes as Bella bought half a dozen books from a very confused proprietor. She spend two flowers, which was a small price to pay in her mind. After leaving the shop, Rhea pulled her to a man's taylor where they bought extra pairs of clothing. When the taylor pointed out that they should not be shopping for their husbands with their knowledge, Bella merely laughed and hiked up her skirt to show the very embarrassed taylor the leather leggings she was wearing underneath. Blushing and mumbling apologies and excuses, the taylor ushered them quickly out of his shop, forgetting to charge them for half of their purchases.
Bella and Rhea walked arm-in-arm down to the docks. Rowan was on ship watch tonight, and she nodded at them as they climbed the plank leading to the deck. Bella and Rhea carefully put their purchases away, folding the clothes to be altered and shelving the books to be read. Soon, they were both in their nightshirts, fast asleep with Rascal lying on the floor between their beds.
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Hello, steampowered here for a review!

While I love this story, I feel this chapter was a bit... lacking? I feel like they're just going along with whatever happens, and there isn't any indication of what's going to happen next. By this point it might be nice if you introduced some of the conflict or the mission or whatever that will form the main bit of the plot. Say they were going on a mission to throw a magic ring into a volcano - by this time you might start mentioning the ring if you hadn't done so already, or having them overhear a conversation about it, or find the ring, or something like that. At the moment, each chapter feels more like a standalone episode than part of something bigger. Unless this is going to be a very character-driven story, I would suggest you give some thought as to what problems the girls may face, and maybe start working that into the story. Just my thoughts.
I picked up on a few minor nitpicks:
This is really minor, but there's a bit of repetition between "DOCK the ship" and "paid the DOCKING fee". Maybe you could just say "paid the fee"?
"Teachings" sounds like Rhea is some kind of prophet. Maybe a better word would be "advice"?
What does this mean? I'm not quite sure. Did he reach out his arm and try and grab her, or did he beckon her to come closer?
What is Bella explaining? I'm really confused. I thought it was the men who were explaining, and she was sitting quietly. If she is explaining something, you really need to make it clear what it is she's explaining.
I think this should be, "More interesting?" Bella asked.
"Taylor" is a name. The spelling is slightly different when referring to a person who makes clothes - it should in fact be "tailor".
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this, and I'm looking forward to reading more! Keep on writing, and feel free to let me know when the next chapter's up!
Heya ehobby,
Pretzelsing here for a review as promised through the PM
Okay so you didn't really develop the characters that much here because you told us more about their actions and their gambling. Maybe you could show us how they play, the tone of their voice, how they gesture with their hands, the accents that they use etc. All of those little details help build them as a character. Now here at my nitpicks:
At the top of her lungs is very cliche on my opinion and I know that you could be more creative with it! What if you used a simile and wrote something like:
"Shouting as loud (a) sirens trumpets, tornado, etc."
Umm, some people have not read from the beginning of the story and they don't know what the "same way" is so I think that you could briefly summarize some interesting and new activities that they could be doing, just to clarify.
You used repetition here because there was two easy and two beating that wasn't really necessary. What I'd you just wrote something like: "Beating the sailors was much easier than playing with Rhea."
I like how you are here transitioning from Bella being a girl to trying to act and fit in like a boy(even though their whole ship is filled with girls). This shows her distaste. Maybe you could have in this place described the dress, how ugly it is, or that it's itchy and uncomfortable or whatever. Why doesn't she like it?
Overall, I think that you could make the scene where the men chase them more epic and breath-taking. At this point you aren't really keeping me on the edge of my seat. Build tension or suspense. I was also wondering here:
Umm I still don't understand why they pretended to laugh,
I hope that this review truly helps you and I encourage you to keep on writing. Also please PM me when the next chapter comes out so that I can read it.Thanks
The story was too transitional. I used to do the same thing, trust me. "After five minutes...three days after..." I would recommend making the story a bit more legato. I believe the current style is a bit choppy right now. I hope you have good luck with your story, because it's full of potential!