VousEsEtonnant

*opens mouth, then stops* nope, he said that. *thinks, and begins to critique again, but pauses* what he hell, she already covered that!!! Well, helpful, here is my advice; follow ...

My only problem with this is when you transition from jamie to cassandra. I got SO confused. And what about this mick person? I smell intruder. She seems too wekcoming. ...

It seems in each chapter so far, all i find is a stumbling sentence. I found her at first before first period Take out "at first" deffinatly. But otherwise awesome. ...

You had noob in here? Hahah. Well, I have but one loneome nitpick. the barbie sounded as much like a barbie as she looked. this line made me stumble. Maybe ...

Your rhythm makes each sentence, each thought fragment, seem more important, more profound and deliberate. I like that about this. true, some of it is cliche, but do we not ...

My favorite stanza is where you talk about how she sprouted her wings too soon. This is a really good poem. When i read this i noticed you started out ...

This is really nice. Actually, nice doesnt quite fit there. Its ensnaring, confusing, exilerating. It feels like falling through words. You, sir, have alot of dark in your heart. I ...

I dont find anything sarcastic or worth being sarcastic about. I think this is beautiful, graphic, but beautiful. Some people might cringe at reading this because of how it is, ...

first of all, UH-MAY-ZING signature. i totally support lgbtq too. infact... i am one of them. but, entirely besides the point. okay, so, when i read this, I feel like ...

PurpleHeart, don't be so quick to judge. Some can relate. Like how my mom is addicted to crack and how she made all these promises she never kept and i ...

This is a really nice poem. I enjoyed it so much, I read it three times. The rhyth is steady, the theme and mood are clear. And the topic is ...

Thi is brimming with violent awesomeness. When i saw the "reconstruct it" and "take it" in italics i thought off hissing. I saw shadows when i read this poem, a ...

Well, I dont know about the orininal, but this is great! The only thing I saw wrong was the line "and the layinbg on the shards of glass, I will ...

Is it just me or is it totally demented that i CHUCKLED while reading this????? Since everyone seemed to beat me here, i will summarize my last five minutes. *nods ...

This is a fantabulischously wonderriffic poem! If someone going through tough times (like me!) Would feel alot of support from this. I love it when people use more complicated words ...