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Re: Lolanthe’s origin: The Laurence family’s deepest woes
What a nice little story! The strongest part of this excerpt is Lolanthe herself. There is something immediately sad about how much of her life seems to orbit Dariel. I ...
Aug 24 -
Re: our movie
Interesting. Very much so. The movie metaphor is, at first, rather charming. David seeing his relationship with Marilyn as the best movie he has ever experienced gives the story an ...
Aug 24 -
Re: Scary Home
Poetry, my foe. I figure I can get some practice with this poem here. So, the narrative is interesting. There is no attempt to intellectualize what is happening, which is ...
Aug 24 -
Re: Choosing Guilt Over Regret
Very worthwhile idea to explore, and the progression from boundaries, to anxiety, to guilt, to regret gives the me a sense of a cohesion. I like the distinction between temporary ...
Aug 24 -
Re: Prove 1+1=2...? [Ch. XII, Nine]
I am going into this story rather blind, but it has been sitting around for some time. This chapter is, in essence, the literary equivalent of shaking a snow globe ...
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: Liz’s inner beauty
What a spooky Christmas tale. I never connect the two of those in my head, but it's very fitting considering what I've read from you thus far. Beginning the story ...
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: The full stop
Ah, poetry. I'm getting better with it. The idea behind this is quite creative, I admit. The breathlessness mirrors the narrator's desperation to interrogate expression itself: the "said and unsaid ...
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: SOMETHING IS AMISS
To begin, there is something undeniably compelling about the narrative voice in this story. It's a frantic, manic, scattershot internal monologue that swings between nihilistic humour and traumatic co
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: Awakening Book 2 Chapter 3: Concerned
I cannot say I have read the previous chapters or the previous book, but this chapter has been sitting for an unfortunate amount of time. A lot can be inferred ...
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: The Discplane Intro
Stonecity sounds grand. A grumpy mage in patchwork clothes waking among graffiti gives the story immediate tone, and perhaps all that is expected of Stonecity is a facade... Things aren't ...
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: The Sixth Clearing
So... The strongest element of the piece is its atmosphere. You clearly knew how to turn the forest into a living entity. The moment Anna and her friends enter, the ...
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: Daire‘s story
We begin with anxiety about rollercoasters. Fair. Common. Human. It's quite refreshing considering the grander amount of supernatural stories and how they handle plots. The prose itself mirrors that:
Dec 7, 2025 -
Re: The Quiet Habit
This is a pleasant narrative. I don't find myself gravitating toward them, but you write with a steady, practiced hand. The prose is clean, calm, and sure of itself, and ...
Dec 6, 2025 -
Re: Chapter Two: Night Escape
First of all, the prose is lovely in many places; the "lonely ache" is beautifully written, and Eliza’s emotional centrifuge feels real enough that I didn't question it. I skimmed ...
Dec 6, 2025 -
Re: true love leaves no traces
Well, I must be in a poetry mood. This is quite atmospheric above all else. The imagery is vivid, tactile enough to feel as gross as it wants to come ...
Dec 6, 2025
