Ventomology

Hello! I'm Buggiedude2340, and I'm here to review! First off, this piece has great detail, and you've got a wonderful vocabulary to boot. Only problem with that is that the ...

You've gotten off to a very strong start here. Kudos to you! Since you did so incredibly well with this first bit, I'll elaborate on what I'd like to see ...

I like where you went with this one. It was totally different from what I'd predicted. So first, there are a few grammatical issues. And I noticed several spots where ...

Whoa, this is cool. I've never seen something about finding lost objects for a job. I commend you on coming up with such a unique idea. If I were you, ...

Welcome to YWS! This story is intriguing, but the tone should be more mysterious. Try describing the setting a bit more; that always helps to set the mood. The piece ...

As thanks for all the reviews you've done on my work, I'll review yours! First, as a fact check: I'm not sure they had silk in ancient Egypt. Silk is ...

Uh... Cleo sure showers a lot. Is this a different day from the last chapter? Also, I'd like to see deeper characterization of Daniel and have the gods with more ...

Goodness, ghosts sure are scary, aren't they? I'd like to know a bit about Alison, and why she's so devoted to Jasper. Maybe you'll elaborate on that later? The story ...

I'll start with the criticism: It's a little hard to tell what's going on, and sometimes I have to reread details because they seem to contradict. Next time, when you ...

How suspenseful! That's a great way to attract readers, so I applaud you. I found it a little distracting how you use 'they' to describe the shadow rather than 'it', ...

Well, for starters remember to start a new paragraph whenever a new character begins speaking... Some transitions between different subjects would be nice. It seems a little jumpy. It would ...

Hmm... The ending is a little inconclusive. It's usually better to leave a cliff-hanger or to have something that ties the chapter together. I was wondering if that red-black dust ...

Hmm... I can already predict what will happen, but that's okay. Maybe there'll be a sudden plot twist later and I can be surprised. This was nice to read. It's ...

Ooh! Special powers! That's always exciting. I hope the other characters have good reactions when they hear about that. Anyways, some notes: I feel sometimes like the amount of detail ...

Whoa! Such a cliff hanger! I really enjoyed this one. It has a nice length, with lots of details and exposition-perfect for an opening chapter-but still with plenty of action. ...