Velvet.whispers

Hey this is cool! I like :D It's really obsessive which is good cause you carry on reading it without noticing the mistakes etc which other people seem to be ...

I'm going to have to agree with everyone here. The only title I can possibly think up is "three weeks with a runaway", but yours works even if something is ...

I looooove this *clicks gold star* I'm not going to get you about commas, firstly because i didn't really notice any mistakes, secondly because i'm sure someone else will be ...

Wow great stuff !! You've really got your tone going, provo, snazzy, quirky! I LOVE THIS, it's so insane, and beautiful... Have you read some Martin Amis? This sort of ...

Mmm you're quite the provocateur aren't you?! This is good, it flows well, has meaning and intention. I's wonderful to see someone who notices things like that, you have a ...

Hey this is wonderful, a lot more focused than the last one i reviewed, the only thing critique I can think of is that your ending is really disappointing! Here ...

Wow, I love this, it's a bit awkward at moments, but even it's awkwardness has it's value: you know how sometimes a work's weakness is it's greatest asset, while I ...

Hey, although I love short poems, I think this one could be a little longer, it would give your surprising ending a little twist. I saw you're new here and ...

Hey i like this, some bits are weird, and some images aren't quite right, but there are some really nice ones! I love the sailor and the bird bit, it's ...

Ok, here goes stanza by stanza! From my view sitting on the graffitied bus bench, I watched the cars reflecting the light like sea glass As they drove past. A ...

Hey, i think this is interesting because it's so elliptic and mysterious, but I might suggest on reworking the shape of it, or maybe writing a second stanza, maybe give ...

I like the atmosphere and the writing in itself, I am however rather disturbed by your use of the angel/devil theme because I do find it dreadfully inappropriate while dealing ...

Poetry wise, I agree with everyone else, this flows, has humour, etc... Unfortunately, I do believe, like lilchoma that to defend the gay cause you have to take it from ...

Your writing is nice and to the point, even if this is rather clichéd... In the fourth stanza, last line you've added an unnecessary apostrophe so correct that type but ...