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Vasticity

a 300 year old coelacanth at the bottom of a lake just took a deep breath

  • Poetry » Humor, Dramatic Re: Where do Socks Hide

    I know nothing about poems, but as per our arrangement: I like the imagery, it seems like it accentuates on little things that are overlooked, like motion or texture, which ...

    Oct 1, 2015
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Narrative Re: Moondust

    I like it. I found no errors with this (possible) exception: 'Which one? Sleeping Beauty? She sighs, then follow through.' I think 'follow' is supposed to be 'follows,' but I'm ...

    Jun 26, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: OS-DBT: Prologue

    Wow, that was quite interesting, I'm definitely going to be excited to see more. You don't have any spelling/grammar/punctuation errors that I can see, but there seems to be quite ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Script » General, General Re: Forgetful.

    It was interesting, but it's not a script. Read this: and download Celtx, which is a free script formatting program that's helped me a lot, if you wish it to ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Script » General, General Re: Army of God

    Hi. First off, the only problems I can find with your formatting is in the character names, you have a colon after the name and no enter space. Dialog shouldn't ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Script » General, General Re: Passions of Stolen Time

    All right, there's a lot of things that need to be dealt with so I'm just going to go all at once: 1. This is too short. 2. There's no ...

    Aug 28, 2011
  • Script » General, General Re: I never told you

    okay, so, this is going to be a long review, but I recommend that you really listen to what I'm saying if you seriously want to get into scripts. First ...

    Jul 28, 2011
  • Script » General, General Re: The Exploitation Of Young Children

    Hi! This needs a bit of work. A: Your punctuation and spelling is way off. Hehehe this is what you call easy money! Aah life is good. There should be ...

    Jun 26, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Rainy Day

    Hey again. The mistakes will be pointed out in red, while my critique on that part will be in blue. It is raining Steady and consistent I am alone Safe ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Hey, Boy!

    hey there. While there's no spelling or grammar errors that I can see, this is really too short to articulate a story or give the reader anything new or even ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Love Never Dies

    While this is exciting and interesting and will obviously develop into a good story, There's a few issues: One: It's too short! Now we're left hanging as you unfolded this ...

    May 3, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The ghost above us.

    Hey Atticus! So let me start off by saying I enjoy what is interpreted in this piece, your wording makes it very memorable and, in fact, sometimes haunting, such as ...

    May 3, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Fakebook

    I was going to say that this belonged in a different section, but I see this is like a prologue, or whatever. First off: you have a lot of punctuation ...

    May 1, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Need or Greed?

    Hi Rob! This would be an interesting story if it weren't for your odd structuring. When a character speaks in a story, it should be in quotation marks. Also, you ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Can't

    Hi! This is a good poem, in my opinion, but it seems very, well, I don't know how else to put it, emo. You're complaining about how your feelings are ...

    Feb 27, 2011


The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope.
— Walter Benjamin