TylynRae

Heyo! Here to review as requested =]. I only saw a few grammatical errors. One being in the first paragraph I think. You were talking about a woman with red ...

Hey there =] You lost the rhythm for a few beats somewhere in the middle and got it back for a tick before you went off again. I think the ...

There were a lot of silly punctuation and grammatical errors in this that deserve to have a look through. Overall, I really liked the Pigs POV, it was sort of ...

When I saw the title of this poem I thought of this book by Mary Downing Hahn called The Doll In The Garden. She's a really good thriller writer for ...

Hello there. You have a really good rhythm for about two lines. And those lines were in the middle. I think what you're getting at is good but the stanzas ...

Hello. Welcome to YWS! Firstly, I'd like to say, like Elinor, this piece neeeds to be devied up into paragraphs. When I first opened it, I almost clicked out of ...

I think I'm just getting grumpy at reviews... growl. But this piece could have used a little bit of improvement. I totally agree with Smyling on all counts. It just ...

One: Get rid of the smilies! Changing the font color and adding smilies is just... really amateurish and isn't the way to make people take you seriously as a writer. ...

Ah, this gave me goosebumps. I'm not sure why. But it did. It's like.. the ultimate betrayal. I think you should definitely expand this, maybe try writing abotu this same ...

Holy crap! This was absolutely amazing. I found it other the reccomendations and boy, were they right to reccomend it! I thought the last part was just... crazy amazing. Gosh. ...

This was a very... unique poem. It gave me a melancholy feeling. Because you look at a peach and its beautiful, at least to me, but then you point out ...

Okay, I think this is a really great way to start off part two. Layia sounds beautiful. The one thing I was a bit iffy on his how quickly you ...

Ah, the last of the Part One =]. Okay, I think this is a pretty good ending, but I think there should just be a hint more of intensity in ...

Nice descriptions on the warlocks in this one. I think I'd just change the opening a bit. We know she's in pain, and you say its a looot of pain, ...

The one iffy part I found in this one is the part where they're reading the scroll. You explain what exactly it's saying, but I think you could have done ...