Published June 27, 2011
I made a vow to change the world, but where am I now?
Seeing the break of dawn, wondering how...
I let go of my emotions and now I'm trapped by these precautions.
Enumerations are confusing me, and i need answers to these questions.
I've nailed the responsibilities and now running with casualties.
Where is my faith? Now, I'm living with worries.
Feels like I'm in a middle of a battle
Left without weapons; not even an armor.
Seeing myself, all i got is a mirror that reflects myself like...
A minor with no means; just waiting for independence day;
Making all on my way.
I forgot that there's someone here to stay.
So here I am!
Please teach me not to hide, teach me how to fight.
Show me how to live and give me more reasons to believe.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,504 Literary Works • 672,591 Reviews
Hey there =] You lost the rhythm for a few beats somewhere in the middle and got it back for a tick before you went off again. I think the overall message is good but it would be nice to know What exactly you believe in. For the most part its well written, nicely done =]
This is a well written poem I believe, however, you used the word "now" four times in the first six lines. I think perhaps re wording this a little would help improve the quality because as I read it I was drawn to the use of the word and what rhymed with it. It also did not help that your first two lines were rhyming with it because it then discarded the rest of the poem as I was only concentrating on those rhyming words. Other than that I loved the poem :]