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Hi Dude! :D Dyne continued to answer questions about the group’s destination, describing the capital city as he remembered it from his youth. He used his hands to compare the ...

Hi artsy! I walked into first period to Tyler Baker, the junior class’s stereotypical nerd, getting whaled on by Adam Web, the school’s bully. I wouldn’t begin with stereotyping your ...

Hi Eliza! Dropping to the ground, away from the suffocating smoke, she began to crawl. “The ground” makes it sound like the ground outside. I thought she’d gone out the ...

Hi lyssasawicki! (Cool name btw. ^_^ ) This was very well written. It had good pace and already there’s a sense of your main character’s personality. I’m not sure I ...

Hi WaitingForLife! Dressed in red-and-purple-and-green liveries, the magician pranced around his make-shift stage, flicking his cape, donning and undonning his velvet top hat. “Undonning” isn’t

Hi ShadowVyper! You have heard of my prowess? I shall endeavour not to disappoint. ;) Makata appeared in the court of King Karitas in the year 215 Q.E.; mostly starved ...

Hi wordsandwishes! I found your poem, but next time can you please include a link with your request? It makes it a lot easier. :) People , in the streets ...

Hi Threnody! The weighty glass of the snifter was shattered across the counter. I think this would be more punchy if it were more active. I’m not sure if this ...

Hi Dude! Lucian saw the mighty serpent circling over him as he shielded his eyes and looked towards the sun. “No Rey-su!” he shouted. “It’s too early to go home!” ...

Hi Dude! His terse explanation was not enough to satisfy her curiosity. “Become? So you do not own a dragon yet?” Lucian responded to her sternly. “A dragon is never ...

Hi BenFranks! Nice to see you again! :D Pierce the night, O’holy rain. Dance rhythmically on silence’s skin. Her light caresses your evening droplets; her light guides your descending deaths. ...

Hi Raelyn! I skim read the first chapter to get an idea of the story so far, and I was surprised to see that you switched from third to first ...

Hiya! First off, I agree with Kitty that the title’s kinda meh. Lack of capitalisation can be very powerful, but I always take it to mean a shrinking of self, ...

Hi DarkShadows! I stepped out of the warm building and into the cold, dark, rainy night. I feel like you could have a stronger opening. Hooks are easily abused, but ...

Hi Beth Jeff! My eyes snapped open as a lightning bolt illuminated my bedroom, wrapping everything in an eerie pale light before descending back into darkness. At first I thought ...