Twit

Pretty good! :D It's exciting, and it definately kept me reading. Your style of writing is rather choppy, but that can be improved through editing. Part VI Firstly, why is ...

Although this was *crushes* and everything, the poem itself was very good. It rhymed! Some of the syllables though, might need attention. I'm not good enough to point them out, ...

Wow, this is good! :D There actually isn't anything to pick out; not that I can find, anyway. You showed the "family falling apart" very well, and I was worrying ...

Lol, good ending. :lol: :wink: It was my third glass of ale and I gulped it feverously down , every drop. Weird word choice, and the "down" seems tagged on. ...

As a character sketch, this is pretty good, but it starts out as a story, which makes it kinda confuzzling. The oil sizzled and crackled has I dumped in the ...

I can't cut, slash or burn because I didn't understand a word of it. >.< I know that sounds awful, but I mean it in the nicest possible sense. To ...

Hope you do well in the contest! There was practically nothing to pick out ( >.< *whimpers* ) but just a few thingies. When he threw it in fire, the ...

Cool and creepy. The last line is brilliant. [This from the Vogon, ignore me] "Only half an hour, if you need ought call Jack" Weird, weird, weird. Put the "me" ...

Hang on, what one's this? I've read three... I didn't think the fourth was out yet. And I thought it got cleared up in Book 3 who the Voice was ...

Good! ^_^ It set up the action for whatever-it-is-that-cometh-next. James Bidas, a soldier, was already tired of the watch shift. I once read some grammer rules. Among the, "Always avoid ...

“How is it that you don’t know where he is?” asked Avarn. Nietje. "How don't you know?" might be better... or something along those lines. The Wereeagle sighed and shook ...

I read all the other parts of this and really enjoyed them. As critiques consisting of, "This is awesome! I didn't see anything wrong with this great story! Write more ...

I liked this heaps! No, seriously. =) Hair of the same color shadowed eyes the crisp blue of a midwinter sky. I don't know what's wrong, but the first bit ...

*blinkblink* I missed this part? I didn't read it? The pain had subsided to a dull, manageable throb, and he knelt very still, not moving so much as a muscle ...

Muchly 'gree with Jabs about pretty much everything, but I only skimmed, so scuzi if I repeat. Personally, I think she swam away with the mermaids and lived happily ever ...