Twit

O hai, Twit here, completely exhausted but still reviewing past midnight. :mrgreen: He knew the small pebbles and splinters of wood that scattered the long, dark corridor lodged themselves deeper ...

Hai! This was good, very good. I liked it. 'Cos, you know, I liked it. :mrgreen: A few things: "Who do you think you are?" Ashley Timber looked up from ...

Hai! As this is short and good, I’m going for the nitpicks here. :) There were times when the castle was at a halt , frozen in warfare and anger. ...

Hai! :mrgreen: I missed the second chapter, but I've read the first one, so I'm interested to see how the story's going... So far I like it, although my point ...

Hai! I'm Twit, back from the dead to review your story. :smt004 On a side note, could you make your chapters shorter? Only this took up, like, five pages of ...

O hai. :mrgreen: First of all, your spacing is off. You need to leave a line between each paragraph and each line of dialogue, so: Grammy smiled. “That’s not all ...

Hey Tatra! My name is Twit and I shall be your reviewer for today. :mrgreen: ~ Instead of peeling it, he just fiddled with it as he looked over to ...

Creeping, crawling, licking and leaping, with each small thing it ate its hunger grew. I think you should either have a semi-colon or start a new sentence after "leaping", and ...

Hai! :) First off – hu-uge paragraph! I know everyone else has already said that, but it’s a very important thing – first impressions and all that – so do ...

A Crime Against Humanity? Gee, that's a little strong. It's a film , not a rewriting of the Bible. The Alice books are some of my favourites, so I was ...

From thereon , I experienced severe harassment, mostly because I was a homosexual. This doesn’t seem like quite the right phrase. “From that moment on” would flow better, I think. ...

Asher peered tentatively out the hole and quickly pulled back as the british troops marched by. Capitalise, as it’s a name. Asher's green eyes snapped open. He shook his long, ...

Hai! I don't know that much about poetry, but from what I've gathered from those better and wiser than I is that it generally has meaning and symbolism and stuff. ...

A javelin rocket flashed past him and finsihed them off as their remains had began to reteach themselves. Finsihed = finished. And what’s reteach? "Aren't they beautiful?" he whispered, his ...

Hai! The sun, bright in all it’s afternoon glory, reflected off of the turquoise-blue sea, while thick puffy clouds marched along overhead. This means “it is”. You need “its” without ...