The Raven Song
The ravens always come
They never leave me alone
Standing so still like they're made of stone,
They keep chirping "it's okay"
But that's all they really say.
In this field the sun never rests
And on the far corner of a tree
There is an empty bird's nest.
It's just my guess
but I think those birds were scared of me
I have these eyes but I can hardly see
I can't feel the heat or the cold of the night,
I don't care if it was darkened and now there is light.
"It’s okay, it's okay" the eternal raven song,
I've heard it for so long
It fills my ears to no avail
I know there is no end to this path that I trail.
I stand in my field night and day
Listening to the ravens whisper it's okay:
They aren't scared of my face or my clothes
They are aware that this is a path I never chose.
And in the wind, one strand of hay breaks free
These ravens aren't afraid of me;
They catch it and return
Smirking about how I never learn.
The ravens always arrive,
Talking to me as if I was alive.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Beautiful poem! About a scarecrow if i'm not mistaken?
I really like that you made them seem like both hope and failure at the same time. They told the scarecrow it was all ok, but at the same time they smirk at how he can never scare them correctly. The scarecrow hopes he's doing his job but he actually isn't. They're always there always saying the same old thing, and the scarecrow can never actually scare them.
Hai!
I don't know that much about poetry, but from what I've gathered from those better and wiser than I is that it generally has meaning and symbolism and stuff. Even if it's not essential, it's nice to have it in, I guess.
Ravens are generally associated with death and gloom and doom, and it was a bit strange that you had them symbolising hope. You describe them as "chirping" but they really don't chirp -- they crow or caw, and it sounds really raucous. It doesn't really fit with them saying "it's okay".
The rhymes weren't as smooth as they could have been. They were noticably there, and some words seemed as though they were just there for the sake of the rhyme, which isn't good.
Overall, I didn't understand what the poem was meant to be about. It's in "Other Poetry" and the title doesn't help, so I don't get what you're trying to say in the poem? What are you trying to share with us?