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Re: Serpent's Curse Chapter 1
Hi there, my name is Tsukarin. It is nice to meet you. There are a few things you have to look out for. 1) Your first paragraph is a little... ...
Nov 1, 2012 -
Re: No Key to Her Past
Hi there, My name is Tsukarin. I liked the story in general because it is easy to understand what is happening. But there are several points to take note of. ...
Jun 25, 2012 -
Re: Unbroken, Chapter Four, Part Two
Hi, I am Tsukarin. The story is really interesting, it tells me what is going on and what your character thinks about the things around her. There are some things ...
Jun 24, 2012 -
Re: Am I, I Am
Hey there, My name is Tsukarin, this piece here sounds really sad. I think I can relate to this, because sometimes I wonder about it too. "Am I really that ...
Jun 19, 2012 -
Re: The Adventures of Professor Linkle (Chapter One)
The story is alright on the whole, though there some parts you can edit so it flows better. There are parts of the story, where it feels as if it ...
Jun 19, 2012 -
Re: Tides That Calm
Hi there, This piece is really calming. What I get from this piece is that whatever happens, the person this poem is based on is not easily affected by things ...
Jun 15, 2012 -
Re: Subject Seven
Hey Em. This is interesting. Sounds like a kind of game. take any cash you can find... Maybe something like, take all the cash you can find. In the draw ...
Jun 15, 2012 -
Re: (Untitled Fantasy Adventure Story Set in Melbourne)
Some things you should take notice of: Argentinian to Argentinean I think you might want to say "Whatever. Do as you wish. Markus is here." instead of “Whatever, do what ...
Jun 15, 2012 -
Re: Untitled. (Plz review)
Ten, you were speeding through the story and I don't know where you started and where you were heading. I cannot really correct grammar or spelling mistakes but that seemed ...
Jun 15, 2012
