Tides That Calm

Hello Kim! I'm Storm to review your poem today!
So, I really liked it. The first thing I want to say is good job. I really like the way you captured a little feeling alongside the description. It all adds up as one powerful and very moving piece, even though the length isn't much.
The flow of the lines is disrupted a bit near the end, but that's an easy fix, really. I would just rearrange the words a little. A thesaurus is your best friend. I use mine to find synonyms with a different amount of syllables.
Anyways, I really liked your poem, keep it up and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
--eyeofthe Storm

Hi, I'm firepen! I really like the poem! It is very short but that is good. I can really imagine the scene, you have described it very well. I also like the repetition of 'sit beneath' - it is a good way of linking. You have to read it a few times before the meaning sinks in and I think this is a good thing, I also think that the meaning will be slightly different for everyone that reads it. However, I think the title could be improved slightly as I think it gives away too much of the poem. Also, I think if you were looking to make it slightly longer, you could add a bit more description in the middle. I hope this was helpful and if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Hi there, Kimashleigh!

I like what you're doing with the imagery in this piece, you can really feel the situation and the scenery, which is really important in the shorter poems.

With a poem like this, though, which is short and based on opening and closing sentiments "Dark twilight, dim moonlight" and such, you need some really sharp lines to keep your reader's attention. We're going to wander if you don't really hook us in as soon as you can. I understand that your imagery is what you're relying on to keep us, and the poem, moving forward, but it just isn't doing enough for me.

I appreciate your formatting a lot and I think it's certainly working for you at the moment. With any changes made to content (expanding the very basic idea you have at the moment) you're going to be making changes to how your poem looks and reads, and I think it will probably end up being a very good thing in this poem. You need a little more substance to what are essentially pretty lines. I'm also not sure if your last line is suggesting that the narrator is trying to drown themselves, which is due to wording. Your title helps to say "oh no, she's just making herself calm" but we might need a little more clarity there, so that we can say "We dig it!" with confidence.

This isn't a bad poem by any means and if you chose to leave it how it is, I don't think it would be too much of a horrible thing, but I do feel that it could use some work. That work would do wonders for tightening the poem up and making it really impact on the reader with strength.

Feel free to hit me up if you have any questions!
- Penguin.

Hi there,

This piece is really calming. What I get from this piece is that whatever happens, the person this poem is based on is not easily affected by things like the storm and thunder.

It feels as if the person is a bit troubled with the part of the fearful heart and this line here. Sorrow engulfs, treachery pursues. It has a sad reminiscing feeling to it a bit sad yet calm.

Maybe this is what you wish to convey through this poem? I am just going according to how I feel about this poem. Great job! I would love to read another one some other day.

Tsukarin