ToritheMonster

Hi! This was an awesome poem. I absolutely loved your imagery. However, I agree that your ending was a little weak. I'd tweak that if I were you. You have ...

I think Crazy covered it all. Just please, don't put it in bold. Normal print, please, normal print. Also, I, personally, didn't find your ideas all that original. The white ...

I completely agree with EdgarAP, except for the part about Ariane's character. I, personally, think it would be even more mysterious if we knew nothing about her at all, not ...

That was awesome! I think Lena caught everything I had found wrong. I, personally, loved your descriptions, though. But that's just me, you can't please everyone. I'll say leave 'em, ...

Great job on this! I don't know if there are other parts before this (I'm guessing there are), but this was fine on its own. I can't wait to read ...

I hafta agree with Summer. This was way too much like Twilight and the ever-crappy Vampire Diaries. I, personally, am sick of all things vampire.You obviously have writing talent. Come ...

Hey, here I am with my promised review! So, I'd correct you on grammar, but it looks like that's been caught by other reviewers. I'll go on to tense. You ...

Here I am, as promised! :mrgreen: I don't have time for a full grammatical review-- but you especially wanted comments on voices and characters anyway. Overall, your characters were good. ...

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Well, I have many issues with this, the first being that this is completely unoriginal. I mean, did you watch The Incredibles right before writing this? You practically quoted ...

Woah, I think Rosey covered everything. I, personally, loved this! Yes, it has some punctuation errors and such, but I'm just going to talk about your writing. First, I love ...

Hi! Alright, I can kind of see what you wanted to do here from what you just posted... and I'm sorry, but you didn't pull it off. What you ended ...

This was really sweet. I think I'm just horrifically overtired, but i got kinda teary-eyed.A few pointers before the actual edits: --I think it would be nice if Jim was ...

Wow! This was really good. Your rhyming was flawless. My only suggestion is that you put the chorus in more than one place, so it's not just at the end. ...

This is good! My only problem is the last line: mine as a loving crutch! It sounds like you just needed a word to rhyme with touch, and crutch.... well, ...

Hi! First of all, great work. This was really good. I enjoyed reading it. Here's my corrections, in bold. If you see an asterisk, that means that I took out ...