ToritheMonster

Nice! I like your style, and internal monologue with outside components. Did you want people to relate to it? Because while I didn't, I think others might.Overall, though, great job! ...

Nice story! This was really cool. Suggestions: Why not keep his name secret? That would be cool. Run over this again. You forgot to capitalize a few 'I's. "Five days ...

Hey! Sorry for the sorta negatory vote, but that's just what I thought. You have tons of talent for describing, I just think you went a little overboard and you ...

I have an idea for one for you, if you wanna take it! Some kids are told not to play in the water, but they do anyway. But..... holy crap! ...

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm.Wow. That was creepy! This was really entertaining, though. My only problem: It just wasn't realistic. Girls don't throw paper wasps, at least not the popular ones. Girls also can't ...

That was amazing! One of the best poems I've read all day, seriously. Just change the formatting to normal, ok? Also, make sure to keep your capitalization consistent. You have ...

Nice poem. Here, have another two dancing elephants: :elephant: :elephant: This was cool. I like how you used words twice, adding rhythm. It was creepy and bitter, but still entertaining. ...

Hey there. Just wanna get this straight for alla you, it's YWS, not YSW. :) :) Nice poem though, and I like your use of parentheses. They were a nice ...

That was amazing! You really captured just what it's like there in Haiti in just a few lines. That was complex, but not, both at the same time, you know ...

Totally, I agree with the others. Regardless, this was good for a thrown-together piece. Just add some emotion, a few adjectives, and make it more interesting. Round this out, and ...

I love this one! Here, my fix-its in purple: You didn ' t just break my heart, You didn ' t just tear it apart, You ri pp ed it ...

Hey again, looks like Pink caught most of my issues w/ this. Nice job on fixing up your tenses, they're less jumpy this time.I think you can catch all the ...

My corrections in red.Asterisks mean I got rid of something. Jason had nothing to say, and even if he did it would come out of mouth as gibberish. Jason couldn’t ...

Nice poem. It really captured how lost some people feel to themselves, when it seems nobody knows just who they are under the surface. This was really pretty, in a ...

Huh. At first I was really confused as to what you meant by this poem, but I understand it now. I agree with Vai, expand it a bit more. Clarify ...