ToritheMonster

Hai, here as requested. :smt003 So, I couldn't find much to nitpick that hadn't been covered by other people. Here's what I found overall: You characters aren't that... exiting. They ...

Heya! Well, to be honest, I'm not too crazy about this. I'm a huge HP fan, but I just... didn't find it very funny. You humour seemed very forced, like ...

Wow! This was incredibly good. I would say that your punctuation is inconsistent, but I'm fairly sure it's supposed to be that way. I'll just oraise you, then. This is ...

Heya! Alright, this poem had several nitpick-y things in it, but I think everyone else caught those. I think overall, this is good. It tells a story, a good one. ...

Okay, this is... interesting. It shows a lot of promise, but you need to edit and expand. You started of a Goddess Of? Of a goddess? What does 'of' mean? ...

Erm... to be honest, I don't really get the point of this poem. It seems to have some deeper meaning, but we can only guess at what that that is. ...

Ooo... creepy. This was a nice little piece. Nitpicks: "It’s no concern of your’ mother’s" should be "It’s no concern of your mother’s" and "she chopped off it's head" should ...

Well, this poem shows promise, but needs more to it. I don't have time for an in-depth review, but here's what I suggest: work on rhyming. In the very beginning, ...

I agree with Elinor and Bondgirl. You don't want to do two things in poetry: whine and repeat yourself. After you said "The things" four times, I sort of lost ...

Heya! Alright, this wasn't a bad poem... but it certainly wasn't winning material. Here's why: -Some phrases made no sense. For example: "Enlightened by their young ones’ smiles." Birds cannot ...

I agree with the other posters. This poem makes no sense and is incoherent. It shows promise, and seem like the skeleton of something bigger... I suggest you do a ...

Wow! This was incredibly good. Your meter was lawless, your rhyming well thought out. You have a lot of poetry talent. One tiny nitpick: The sea gulls fade into the ...

I agree. This poem really has no meaning... it seems to just be a jumble of rhyming questions. That said, this is your first poem. Most people can't rhyme at ...

Hey, I'm Dreamy, and I'll be reviewing your poem today. Let's start with nitpicks, in red . Love . Your name I hear, Everywhere I turn. (This part doesn't make ...

This is quite good! You used some nice imagery, which I always appreciate. It was raw and heartfelt, almost verging on cliche. You didn't cross that line, though, so nice ...