I hear outside my window,
rain drops falling from the sky.
I look back at the past and think,
and I wonder, always wondering why.
I hear I car outside my window,
but when I look out I only see horses.
Panting their way up the stream,
gliding across the water field sky.
They gallop, and drink, they have no owner.
Now I think I've begun to see,
they chuckle as they turn to me.
They need no owner for they have human eyes,
can Greek Mythology truly come alive ?
I would think so.
We lock eyes for a split second,
the they run away.
Now I hear no rain outside my window,
but I still see a horse galloping by.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
I agree with dreamy, to an extent, but I also have to say how much I liked the imagery. From the moment I read your title I really wanted to read the poem, and though there were a few places where it felt like you needed to put in a little more work, (one eg. "and I wonder, always wondering why." was very redundant) but since I really am not going to pretend to know how to critique the technical aspect of poetry, I'll leave it at that.
Good luck, and sorry I couldn't be more helpful!
Lupis
Well, this poem shows promise, but needs more to it. I don't have time for an in-depth review, but here's what I suggest: work on rhyming. In the very beginning, you had a good scheme going, but then dropped it soon after. Keep your rhyming consistent, and your poem will improve immensely.