Thegirlwholived

Well. I must say, this poem is rather well written. However, you went from freeform to rhyming, which is the biggest pet peeve I've ever had. You had a fairly ...

Dang, Scar. That's pretty good. The only problem I have with it is You're going over board with the show-don't-tell thing. otherwise, it rocks! Keep it up Kim

o. o Dang. That's REALY good. i mean, REALLY REALLY good. I pick out all the little things in poems, and I can't find a single thing wrong. This is ...

I love it. You're FABULOUS!*likes* ~Kim~

Very interesting... I believe, though, that you could use work on the whole "Show Don't Tell" thing. You kind of just threw the ideas out there, which sometimes loses the ...

Hey! You did a very nice job on this piece! However, I think you could use a little work on repetition, and perhaps, instead of footnotes, you could actually include ...

So, Henri has some problems? She seems sweet. You often said things slurred together like this: "From the cake shop?" I nodded. It took me a minute to process this, ...

Alright! So, I noticed a few general things you did here. The first one was that you used the quotation marks as only one. Like and apostrophe. That, I believe, ...

Nice! I enjoyed how this was based on The Lightning Theif! A few things I found though: Engaging in intercourse The syllables here are a bit long and just a ...

Alright, a few things here. I like how you had a free verse, but look at this: Every time I see his face Endless rainbow colors I could take He ...

Woah. No complaints here! Great poem! Your syllables are a bit choppy, and rhymes were sometimes forced, but other that that, great job! Kim

I agree with Vast. PLEASE don't write as if the person were speaking to the reader. it tends to get confusing, and sometimes the reader expects commentary regularly from the ...

Very nice! May I ask what this was based on? Was Alice Lewis Carrol or was Alice just Alice? Confusion D: Kim

Your face I hardly give a shit. Okay, there are many things wrong with this single line. The first is that you need a comma after face. the second is ...

Well, there is nothing I can say that has not been said before, and I agree with all of the past reviews, so I guess I'll stick with a "Good ...