ThePhoenix

I'M BACK! Ok, let's review (well I'm the one reviewing but still). Also, naming the baby "Turnip" was just... wow. I don't know why but it reminds me of something ...

D: I am so sorry for not reviewing. To be honest, I forgot about this entire series (I don't know how that is supposed to be reassuring or make you ...

HELLO THERE! Review time! Hospital, I thought to myself. W-what happened back there? I don't understand why he immediately thinks hospital. I mean, I would as well. But it shouldn't ...

HELLO THERE! If this review isn't very helpful, blame me. I've doing reviews all day and I don't want to stop until my review counter gets to thirty. Wan's last ...

Oh someone tagged me, that doesn't happen oft— ... YES! SOMETHING TO REVIEW! *Dances awkwardly Helicopter blades and lots of them, coming towards us at speed. Yeah... you never explained ...

I could be nitpicky and point out all the tiny errors you made... but I don't want to. I would tell you to go and find all the errors yourself ...

D: So many words... As for the paragraph breaks... I wasn't sure because you only start a new paragraph when the topic changes, but for this, everything in one paragraph ...

WELCOME! This is going to be my first time reviewing a poem, so if this review sucks then, well, blame me? Idk. Just to begin with, I absolutely loved this ...

Alliteration. The door was so heavy that she had to heave with her shoulders to get it ajar enough for her to squeeze through. Woah. How big would this door ...

Apricot jelly. She wanted to ground to swallow her whole. I think you meant "the ground" but I'm not entirely sure... “Make sure you do a good job, Penelope!” Penelope’s ...

Strawberry jam. He chuckled under his breath. Not likely. I feel like the sentence "Not likely." would fit better if it was expressed as Quinn's thoughts. So the sentence becomes ...

Fish fingers and custard. I said quietly, staring at my toes. You mean shoes right? Unless he's barefoot, but that doesn't make much sense and you don't mention him putting ...

D: Your character stays true to the title. First of all. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CONTINUE THIS! I mean, I don't even understand most of it yet. Especially the culture. And ...

D: Why did you give up on this... I DEMAND YOU CONTINUE THIS! Or don't... D: I know this is old but... who cares. I frowned. This must be some ...

Pineapples. I think I like this line divider better... I looked up and down the road, wondering what had made the noise. Something about the sound was terrifying, reminding me ...