TheElderOne

Interesting. Interesting, indeed. I like the detail and the level of the dialogue. The omniscient point of view is nice, too because it lets the reader see both sides and ...

Again, a very good work. It's a thought-provoking piece, especially on a website where creativity is encouraged, and this could easily take place in a dictatorship today. I liked it. ...

Interesting, yet again. The clever little biter (I can't remember, does he have a name?) is probably my favorite character, and it's kind of sweet to see Ayers warming up ...

Interesting. Very much so. You took the story of Little Red Riding Hood and then added a modern, dark touch to it. And once the reader, or at least me, ...

Alright, first off, shorten your paragraphs to four to six lines or so. I haven't even read your story in full, and your long paragraphs are making me lose interest. ...

Hm, interesting. Based on what I'm seeing, Ansel is a kid who has been in some sort of trouble, and with the title and Ronnie being central...well, I won't say ...

Again, a well-written story. It's interesting to consider if this narrator's name is really East Brookes. Is that really his name? Or is the notebook something planted inside the cell ...

Interesting. It's a good if a little rough work. The details were good, and all that's really needed is a bit of proofreading. One thing I'd add onto is the ...

I like the premise, but this story needs work. First of all, get rid of the last line about falling in love with a rock unless it's an Author's Note. ...

This is interesting, but I'd definitely add something to grab a reader's attention. All you're really giving is that this down-on-his-luck teen with a drunk father is walking unwillingly to ...

Another fantastic, thought-evoking piece. You keep the reader guessing about who the narrator is, and then when the big reveal comes, the narrator is easily sympathized with. The buildup is ...

So this sheds a bit of light onto Maira. So she's both a Conductor and a cybermancer. I guess Fey was killing her because either he found out she was ...

Interesting. Your main character Maira is still a little unbearable, but at least you gave her a somewhat human side with healing the boy. It's obvious that she has terrible ...

This is a promising novel. I hope you keep on with it. One thing, though. Like Stella said, your main character is a little...snobbish. Not just a little, but a ...

Interesting. So the woman is young by time standards, but by standards of a life, she is old. The detail is nice, and the emotion you work into the story ...