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Re: America's Cup Here We Come Chapter 1
Hello love! I like the story, and you definitely got me hooked. Technicalities, luv: The boat behind them, who had been so haughty about having right of way watched aghast ...
Jan 5, 2014 -
Re: The Fourth World: Ch4 Part 3
Hello, writer! I really do love the way you write. Almost everything flowed really well. However, there were a few errors. "All the muscles in my body tense, and then ...
Jan 5, 2014 -
Re: Candles-One
Hi. The first few sentences are a bit choppy. I would suggest saying something like: The building is quiet as we walk in. Cassidy walks in front of me, looking ...
Jan 3, 2014 -
Re: Independent-Chapter 2
Another cliffhanger! You're still switching tenses! Yes, yes, I know, I haven't given you a chance to fix it. Her decision to run away is a bit sudden; I would ...
Jan 2, 2014 -
Re: Independent-Chapter 1
Hello, love! I'd say that you should work on your comma usage a bit, and keep from switching from past to present tense. I'm writing my novel in first person, ...
Jan 2, 2014 -
Re: Vampiric; Chapter Ten
Please excuse my excessive use of love throughout my review. :) I really enjoyed reading your book, love. I didn't read CH 1-9, but I caught on quickly. You, love, ...
Jan 2, 2014