Tenyo

"The bullet sliced straight through." I love it! Thanks =]

Pftahaha! This made me laugh so much. I'll edit this one and try harder next time.

Mele is fourteen and Luci is almost fifteen, and the eight month difference puts him in the grade above her at school. Should I mention that sooner?

I know. I struggled with this chapter and in the end decided to post regardless of quality. I promise the next one will be better!

We Shall Pen! Of course this carries it's own unique charm. You should record it =D

Eh? It didn't work. Why didn't it work... Must explore this.

[spoyler] Your text [/spoyler] Type it exactly like that. But of course you spell spoiler right =p

'Fah-sod' sounds really weird. We say it 'fah-sard.' I don't know about these books of which you speak, I've never read them. Okay, fine, maybe that ONE TIME, but it ...

Hah! No, that's not what it meant! Oh dear gosh. Nonono. Maybe we have a few lingual differences here XD

Ah, the icky part of capitalisation. If you're using it as a title, then you capitalise it, if you're using it as a common noun, then you don't, so, it ...

You're welcome. I really enjoyed reading it, so thank you for posting!

My gosh this hurt to read. Never underestimate mere guffiness. That's the stuff that gets straight to peoples hearts, and what's the fun in reading if not to read something ...

No problem. Thanks for posting! I enjoyed reading it.

Hey Crystal! Two minute review! Sentence structure: "Jumps into tree above training dummy." Who jumps? It may seem obvious to you but not to your reader, so you should try ...

Nice work! I'm a novelist. I write novels because I try to write short stories and get carried away. For me Haiku is my worst enemy so I have great ...