Tenyo

Hey Mini_MW! Welcome to YWS! This is a nice piece. I'm a huge fan of introspection, and here it's a very simple situation that's really brought to life by Suyin's ...

Hey Manilla! I love the visual style of this, it makes it so interesting! I think it definitely enhances the content. It reminds me of an index or a filing ...

Ahahah. This is magnificent, and not at all where I had expected it to be going when I started reading! The style is very light and whimsical, which suits the ...

Hey ThomasLoud! It's a shame this hasn't gotten much attention, the action in this chapter is really well written. It's very visual and descriptive, and the dynamics keep it interesting. ...

Hey Startchaser! This poem has such an interesting theme to it. I really like how the first stanza sets it up to sound like idolatry or even jealousy, the second ...

Hey Nishthabawa! This isn't a language I'm greatly familiar with so forgive me for any misinterpretations. This poem has a beautiful solemness to it. The first four stanzas create a ...

Hey Traves! One Trial By Fire coming up. I'm gonna pick every sentence apart so it may feel like a lot of criticism but mostly it's just pulling up weeds ...

Hey KtajaDawn! There's something odd about the tone of this compared to the topic. The topic is really sensitive- heartbreak is a violent emotion that tends to carry little restraint- ...

Hey Concord! I struggled with some of the line breaks in this. The lines '...book I've tried / to pick up' threw me off a little. The meaning changes when ...

Hey Arachno! Welcome to YWS! This is a really interesting concept to explore. My opinion differs to the one portrayed here, but I think that's what I like about this. ...

-> Part Twelve Poor Everen. From her earlier appearance I had kind of imagined her to be some mature, hard working, firm-minded woman, but that phrase that she 'always felt ...

-> Part Ten / Eleven Oh no. Don't do it. Don't do it! Blimey, Kerra. I love her so much, she's an amazing character, but she can't hold her words. ...

-> Part Nine 'A slightly haunted look in her eyes' is a fantastic introduction to a character. I think it doesn't just give her a physical description but also sets ...

-> Part Eight I'm not sure if crusts is the best word to use. Mains, Downs, Pillars, they all sound like very sci-fi ish terms that would well fit an ...

-> Part Seven So Kerra was never a part of the plan... except now she's being used as a storage point for seventy bags of fertiliser. And The Grin was ...