Teague

“How could they possibly know that?!” She exclaimed, pausing to listen to the reply. “Okay, you know what? Just… let me think!” The S in "she" should be a small ...

Clau pretty much caught everything and beat me to it, but I did notice one grammatical error she didn't catch. ;) “Oh after your dramatic entrance yesterday, I didn’t have ...

I picked up on an inconsistency in the second one today. It's in the part where they're putting together a mismatched car. Angel starts talking about how to fix up ...

Has anyone else noticed that James Patterson can't write effectively as a girl? I spent the first book thinking Max was a guy. ;) Same here, until like page 170 ...

This is a poem, darling. Belongs in the poetry secton. :) *waits for a mod to move it*

Please critique :(

It's 12:16 a.m. and I just spent three hours reading the third book without stopping. I freaking loved it. And I'm probably going to read it again tomorrow. Today. Whatever.

Yeah, I remember that. I was like, "didn't the cop person take the bear?" BUT based upon the excerpt from book 3 in the back of book 2 I suppose ...

I never noticed that. And I used to live in Arizona!! Shame on me. That's really going to irritate me now... Ha, I caught it on the third read. I ...

Well, he also does it in the opening part of book 1, when Max is escaping from the School in her dream. The School is in Death Valley, which is ...

This is Great! I think it could actually be made into a good short story too. Hope you write more on this. You're writing is easy to understand, and is ...

This was MY territory, not its. Normally you have IT capatalized, to avoid having two capatalized words in one sentece, try this: This was my territory, not IT's. haha, that ...

It was good. Not my type of read but still good. I liked how you build up the fact that a missing character could had been a demon. However, your ...

He clenched them tighter, and lifted his right arm to cover his eyes. Clenched what. His hand or his eyes? If eyes, you don't clench them, you shut them tighter. ...

Nice, I remember reading some of your other stuff. A few things # You use speech tags too often. Dont be afraid of "said" - said is your best friend. ...