Swottielottie

Oh, this is my brother... I don't know what he was thinking when he wrote it. Just trying to annoy Brad I guess. It made me laugh though..

Thank you Paw Print, your reply meant so much to me. It is certainly NOT perfectly written but thank you for saying it. I've edited this a lot more but ...

Well, thanks for taking the time to read some of it. I'm glad you liked the dialogue, as I thought that it was my weakest point in writing. I'll try ...

In answer to Runawaythoughts questions (I know its not my story but I know the guy who wrote it from real life so I thought I'd answer for him cos' ...

Thanks! Those were really good crits. Like I said, I literally write this in like 15 minutes and I haven't edited it all. I know it needs a lot of ...

I liked the end bit with the counting down, that gave it a rhythm which was good to read. I definetly think yuo should continue it.

Even though it was quite short and had little imagery I really liked it. I think this would be better off as the lyrics to a song for some reason. ...

Cool. That's what I thought when I read it. You need to fix up the punctuation, missing commas an such, but I really liked it. It reminded me of this ...

I got the idea, it was entertaining, but the brackets distacted me. Also in the first few lines it seemed as if it should rhyme so I think that might ...

Thanks, for that brilliant critique. All I will say is that the bit in spanish was only becuase we hade to add in a different language. I think I will ...

Ok, thanks I'll change it but..... as you can see poems aren't really my thing.

Wow, I love this sort of abstract stuff. There was a copuple of tense changes, but the others have already mentioned it. Very cool, but look for grammar and tense ...

Thanks you everyone! this is the only poem I wrote that anyone here liked! Charlotte *feels proud for a few seconds*

Are you being sarcastic too? This post is scaring me!

Everyone is being sarcastic right?