Fire

It is certainly progressive.

I feel you have struck a chord. The humbly pastry is mentioned too scarcely in poetry! WHY?!?!?! hehehehe

OK, it wasn't exactly bad, but it wasn't [s]good[/s] average either. It really had almost nothing to do with fire either. And I'm not saying I don't like pie, but I can's say that it is in any way interesting. Also, what was with the

pie?...


beep?

Oh, this is my brother...
I don't know what he was thinking when he wrote it. Just trying to annoy Brad I guess. It made me laugh though..

lmao, the idiot that clicked on www.pathetic.com>>>>>>> ME...
XD

i tried to update the poem but it went horribly wrong and i created a monster!!


i thought it was rubbish i just needed pepole's opinion thanks

from your local madman conorR

Uh,, ok...what were you on when you wrote that? LOL JK....Well ya interesting. I guess. O.o

The fighting flames they burn my heart,
I gag and wish i never ate the poisend pie,
i wish i never enterd this ring of fire
now i will die in the fire.


that is the new version personally i think i could do better but i cant think of anything plz give ideas!

"Skirmishing holocaust
I facsimile chiffon!
Girdle of phlogiston!
Everyone lapse! ( gone )"
London aspen, this made me laugh, it was actually strangely satisfying to read!

ConnoR, I think you should work on this a bit, put something more into it,
Did you even try when writing this?

what?????

Go London Aspen for finding something positive to do with this! Nice idea, London! I think I'll try that next time I don't know what to think about a poem.

I really don't know what to say to this, other than...no. While I was reading it, my face was permanently formed in a 'what the crap?!' expression. really, someone should have taken a picture--it was interesting.

I agree with above comments. We take our work seriously here at YWS. Please do the same or find another site to post on.

ConorR, I didn't understand your poem. Also, the words weren't very interesting. Using my thesaurus, I rewrote your poem using words I didn't know. Mine sounds like a spell.

The Conflagration Poem

Skirmishing holocaust
I facsimile chiffon!
Girdle of phlogiston!
Everyone lapse! ( gone )




This was fun.-London

Yea- this kid is in it for attention and brad.
Just to let you know if you post anymore weird or random poems that don't really mean anything I won't say anything.

ConorR,

You have the privilege of being my first post.
Although I thought your poem was out of place, I thought it was funny and it brought a smile to my face.

p.s. how about next time you take it a little more seriously. I'm not saying you have to lose your humor, but give the site the respect it deserves.

Hehehe... actually, believe or not I sort of liked this! Not for the first stanza, but the last two lines. It was cute, since the poem was so dramatic and then it dissolved into childish fragments. Which was cute.

i resent that brad

huh,totally needs pathetic.com.

Anyway welcome to YWS.

I agree with all that has been said. Also i do not find pie that interesting.

ConorR,


Your ramblings will find a better home at a different website. I suggest www.pathetic.com


Best,
Brad

I like pie too.
In fact, I am damn pie queen.

But this poem... stanked...

Listen, we take writing seriously... so eitehr put up something decent or put this in the random ness section. This doesn't belong here.

What do you think brad?