Swottielottie

I've read this a few times and it's very haunting. The description at the beginning is lovely, I like the repetition. I can't think of anything technical to improve really, ...

I agree with the above review. I really enjoyed the description, your word choice and the build up to the girl finding her brother on the floor. The repetition at ...

She felt foolish checking the pulse of a man whose neck she had just snapped but there was an inhumanity in the way he fought that made her cautious. I ...

Firstly, wow! I've read both parts of this story and I feel myself becoming addicted! Your style is so intricate, but simple at the same time. Fabulous description; I can ...

This was pretty funny, but a bit repetitive, and that got on my nerves a bit. I hate Twilight as well! Yay for the Anti's! However, the script was a ...

Wow! This was truly great! I really want to eat my own poop now! And I might as well go and eat some scabs while I'm at it as well. ...

Wow, this was really something. I'm sure you must be one of those 'special' people, eh, Thien? My friends TTHo95 and Child'splaysucks78 say that this really sucks and I think ...

Ooh! Death Metal! I thought this was 'cool'. I could imagine the song in my head, which was fun and interesting as well. I love your title name: It seems ...

I've changed the punctuation (in bold) and my coments are in brackets. Some suggestion for words etc are in bold. I don't think I'll go through all of it, just ...

I thought this was beautiful! I am in love with your imagery, rhythm, and just the way the poem flows when you read it out loud! Sure, other people may ...

Wow. That completly summed ME up XD. I thought it was very powerful and I liked the way you described their girls appearances. played with their glossy, glued extensions; complimented ...

First, I'll just go through some grammar, wording and small issues etc. I've added in some suggestions for words and punctuation. I won't go through all of it, (I don't ...

P.S. We're dying. That was my favourite part. I could hear you whispering it to youself in my imagination. I thought this was a very clever and randomly odd piece ...

This was certainly very powerful! The rhythm was very strong and the ryhming was done well. This sounds like it should be a song or something. One thing I suggest ...

As said above, I'm the co-writer for this book! We're stuck on how to write the next part. Basically, we want Riley to be introduced, sitting in the playground but ...