Swires

I found this boring. THere was little imagery and basic statements, there was little characterisation or world building either. The whole thing went to quickly and the conflict drive was ...

Ive never read a story like that in my life.

Thanks again for the critique.

One word: Short. Please actually finish a piece or section of work before posting. Its a nice piece but meaningless, where is the conflict? Character etc... I hate philisophical beginnings. ...

Thanks for the critique, yes "Stop" is an addition in italics. Its the voice. Thanks again, more crits welcome.

Thanks guys. reading it back a few days on I agree, its way too simple, I agree a lot more needs to be added to this scene and I need ...

Thankyou, ill hop over to your story sometime later.

Thankyou for your comments. I agree with everything you said. Anymore comments?

Yes ill second that, you could space the dialogue out with some action or POV thoughts, also hinting to some physical characteristics as well.

lol, Why thank you Dream. It was written for someone very special for me

This is in the wrong section.

I disagree with the "Screaming with fire" point Claudette. Seamus Heaney, argueably the best poet of the era uses this sort of imagery: What he has used is personification, the ...

A much improved and much more interesting first scene to Oracles possession Myth, I liked this and it kept me interested in teh world throughout. Plus It was much more ...

The word: Spacing comes to mind

Im with Firestarter, I just could not get into Going Postal from discworld books ar all. And they arnt that funny