Swires

Phorcys wrote:Then you review it before posting. Simple. No excuses please lol Ooo... we really have a strict teacher here,lol. :wink: lol- Ani - do not interrupt me when I ...

I was kinda rushed when I made it, thank you for the feedback! Then you review it before posting. Simple. No excuses please lol :D

You may want to add some formatting in order to gain more critiques. THe more user friendly a story is the more users you have. Simple.

She bled to death. It depends in what context. She bled to death is fine if you are saying that the woman is now dead and she died through bleeding. ...

Which they have to fax through to Nathanial Monkey.

Thankyou for all your tips, I agree with everything said - I shall butcher this at a later date, I may make this a 20k novella, I cant see it ...

I see we have a difference of opinion. Not that it really matters either way, I was just giving an example to say that But is ok in some senses.

Mmm.. This isnt as good as your others, I didnt really see any meaning behind it and it was perhaps too short to captivate me. I thought this one was ...

Im not a Haiku fan as it is and these just reiterate my dislike. They dont really make sense and are rather vague in the sense that some lines are ...

Sorry, Ive just picked up on something. You arnt legally aloud to be on this forum if you are any less in age than 13 in accordance with COPPA protection ...

Format into paragraphs, proofread then I shall return.

I suggest you read out this aloud in order to correct mistakes. And also - why a paragraph? It is impossible to get any sort of essence of character or ...

sorry, I need to rephrase. A story, by my own definition is a tale of what has happened in the past and the writer is retelling it. Thus, it would ...

Yes, Example 2 is a modern piece of mine, It was a little back history in story form, I am still playing around with characters for my newest project.

Though sometimes focusing description in certain areas can be effective to make it more exciting, scary etc. However i think i might have failed miserably at that. Yes but don't ...