Swires

The line-by-line crits have already been done so I'll give you some generic feedback as a reader rather than an editor. Your descriptions are the strong point of the Prologue. ...

I have just taken the last hour and a half to read through the entirety of In Thrall. In Thrall to writing can be compared with everest to mountains. It ...

This story on the whole seems painfully dragged out. I loved the pace you started in the prologue and was really looking forward to reading chapters one and two. However ...

I agree with the grade given. Ok there are some flaws in the story, plenty of grammatical errors. There is little suspense, little build up. THe main problem here is ...

Firstly, this kept my attention. It was interesting, very nice stylistically and the characters were satisfactory. There is one major flaw in this: the pace. We have been overwhelmed by ...

The marbles rolled and clicked against each other as Jerry pulled open the drawer. Come on, lets get read of that nasty little word that obliterates fiction: as. Its boring. ...

Ok, some points and remedies as thats what my critique style seems to be now: :arrow: Enjoyable story, I read it to the end. Howerver - why is half of ...

I'm not sure if the others have picked up on these but i'll stop by and add a few points. :arrow: You introduce a character and describe every part of ...

Hello there. The main problem here, before the story can even be taken into consideration is your grammar. :arrow: Capitalising words is taboo in creative writing. As always, certain authors ...

1) Thread title is usually the story title. 2) Spacing in between paragraphs is needed. you will get more reviews this way. Story - The beginning is boring. "It was ...

Quote The first thing they all saw was the seven magicians. - "were the seven..." - Im also very confused about Rame's power - I dont like him having that ...

The level of writing and style is very mature in this piece, I loved the crafting. I read through it and really enjoyed how you present the world and characters. ...

Melodramatic, tale tale crap! You tell alot - "I did this, I did that" there is little suspense and its too small to build up a picture of anything. You ...

Point. I think that word sums a poem up. There simply is no point in this poem at all. As Sieg said - everything went pear shaped because of the ...

lol - Ok snoink this was a little pointless, didnt have that much meaning and it felt like you actually only wrote this because another idea hadn't come along. Its ...