Summerless

I would delete the third and fourth stanzas altogether because they seem to be a plethora. An excess. Extraneous. For some reason they don't appeal to me because there aren't ...

This is a really weak poem, no offense. You tell the reader everything and there isn't a smooth transition from each stanza to the next one. I agree with deafwriter_19. ...

You're loosing hope, That should be You're losing hope, I'm afraid to say that I agree with Gadi. This is almost all cliché. Everyone wants a little bit more sleep ...

I like how you put the colors in the poem. It's kind of like a visual poem, isn't it? ^_^ Try adding more punctuation like OverEasy said, and/or try breaking ...

I like the assonance you put in tracked down and censored through the beaten screen and his quality learnings are bound to concede It makes up for the rhyming that ...

The fear is not frightening. It itself fears that no one fears. It's under the bed because it's frightened. I love this part. It's like a tongue twister because of ...

A few grammar revisions: “Your mom did. I was too busy today,” he yelled back. If the boy yelled it, try putting exclamation points instead of a period and/or comma. ...

Aww, this was so sweet and so sad and so cute! Did d addy burn breakfast? * Capitalize "daddy" since it's basically a name for the girl's dad. I have ...

Critique I hate wishing upon every star, That is so cliché. Take it out. Most of this is telling. If you left it at this on purpose, good job. If ...

I agree with 30MarsBars and disagree with Flame11. My heart aches to My head says no Makes perfect sense--if I'm interpreting it correctly. The narrator's heart wants to meet the ...

Wow, Ross, this is good (no duh! ;] ). It was really catchy and unsuspected. A few things though. With that , I grabbed him by the wrist and almost ...

I agree with yoha_ahoy. The second stanza is my favorite too! Poignant , and rich. The comma (in blue), I think, should be omitted. I love the ending too. It's ...

This part was just as good as all the rest. :] One piece of critique: David was a very nice guy and very handsome too. He had dark curls that ...

What do you see when you close your eyes? A million tiny dots? That is a very compelling, captivating start. It's not one of those cheesy rhetorical questions. You immediately ...

Okay, Ross, now I shall break everything down. You write and describe everything about the lovey-dovey-ness as if you've personally experienced it all. If you haven't ever kissed someone you've ...