SummerSunshine

It looks much better now. I am now going to start working on Chapter 2.

Ok, thanks.

I made the changes.

I made some changes. I still feel like there is too much dialogue, do you have suggestions on how I can fix it.

I understand that. I have never been very good at describing things without using dialogue. As for Sam, the next chapter is really where I focus on her. In the ...

Thank you. I will make those changes.

Okay, I love this. One thing though, the "Discovered" in He Discovered matter, should have a lowercase d at the beginning.

Now you have me interested, I'm going to keep an eye on you (in a totally not creepy way) and read the next part if you choose to continue this.

Hi milabales11, First off, I want to start of by saying welcome to YWS. I love your use of imagery in this piece. However, I'm not exactly sure what's going ...

Thanks. The other author and I, are going to be taking a break for this story, and are working on another one, for the time being. Thanks

Something really funny, is that in band class we're playing a song called Fortis.

Thanks for the review. I don't know my parentheses punctuation rules, so that's why it was messed up.

Thanks for clearing that up. That means that I've been spelling that wrong forever. So actually I do not know about that.

Something went wrong here, this is not supposed to exist.

Hey! Summer here, with a short review. The way you talk about the 'other people' here, reminds me of the bullies that used to hurt me, and bullies everywhere. They ...