Dear Nisha,
Hey Nish! Glittering Springs. How could the world have done this to me? You had to leave our crazy little squad halfway through the summer! Just...WHY? I had so much planned for this summer! Our squad was going to rule the universe :) No really, I’m not kidding!
OK so I had a summer bucket list! It was going to be the best summer of our lives! Our bucket list was going to like this:
2015 Summer Bucket List
Anyway none of that is going to happen now. Now that you are going to Glittering Springs. Where birds chirp and flowers dance. I hate the fact that they say that in the pamphlet. Everyone knows that is false!
Well….you need to tell me about your new school. What does your boarding school look like? What courses are you taking? I heard you got a good scholarship! That is so awesome!
I need to tell you something...I won't be going to Eternity Hollows either…
I am moving to a clapboard victorian in Maryland. The sad thing is that I just found out! I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier and you already left for your new school….I’m in the car right now at the time of writing this, so I can’t tell you what my new house is like….yet.
I`ll tell you in my next letter all about it. I Promise!!
Also can you make a group chat with the squad PLEASE? My phone is so annoying, It won`t work!
UGGGHHH! My sister Annie is screaming at me to meet her in her room! She wants to show me something! Oh, yea this is an RV by the way! So we each get our own little room! Plus, we get a kitchen and bathroom! It’s really cool and there is a campsite that we are going to spend the night at! It’s called Swallow Campsite, I think! Well Wow….sisters these days! *rolls eyes*
Remember all the nicknames and more when we go to different schools. ILYSM Nish!
Ok ok. Don`t waste paper, but I ran out of room on the other page Nisha!
R.M.A,
Alexis Europe
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Alright, so I don't really like the typical teenager (even though I am a teenager myself), but you did an okay job describing some girls today. There weren't too many grammar mistakes in this, and only about 1 - 2 typos. But I won't bother you with those.
Okay, so I know that this is in letter form, and it's informal, but I still believe the same rules apply grammatically/structurally (if that makes sense). You use "him" twice in this sentence, (feeds him and plays with him). To make it flow better and not make the reader feel like they are reading the same thing over again, just change it to "Ellie secretly feeds and plays with him". Also, I don't know what Charlie getting in trouble would have to do with the fact that Ellie secretly feeds and plays with him, but that's just a personal 'preference'. Or one of my rants.
Okay, two things with this sentence.
1: You go from one topic, to a completely new one. First you're talking about the campsite, and then you are 'complaining' about sisters... It lost me for a second. (I don't know what annoying sisters had to do with the campsite.)
2. I have a problem with the "*rolls eyes*". We all know this is a letter, and not a text/chat, so this seems out of place here. (even if your letter is informal). I would use a word to describe you rolling your eyes. Like "jeez", "gosh", or something like that.
Other Suggestions:
Okay, I know chapter length is your choice as an author, but just one letter is kind of short, and not a lot of info. That said, I LOVE the idea of letters to include in a novel. One of my favorite books, Tears of a Tiger by Sharon Draper uses letters, newspaper articles, homework projects, and a little bit of narrative to write the entire thing. I encourage you to do the same!
Anyway, this is a good start to your book! The friendship between Alexis and her friend seems pretty believable at the moment. Good job and keep writing!
~Snazz Pizzazz
Thanks. The other author and I, are going to be taking a break for this story, and are working on another one, for the time being. Thanks
Hiya! I'm here with the review!
'
) We're finding out what their lives are like at home and things like that. It is even interesting in ways that you reveal the character's personality. 
No really, I’m not kidding! '
Even if this is the start, you're really setting it up here.
Sounds very interesting and a very good chapter-introduction/start to your story! I'm excited to the adventures/letters that await! But before I get on to the positives, I'll start with the nit-picky stuff.
~Nit-picks~
'•Have a squad sleepover with Ellie, Skyler, of course ME, and YOu! '
Do you mean to capitalize the entire 'you'? If so, you've forgotten to capitalize the last letter.
'I had so much planned for this summer! Our squad was going to rule the universe
You should probably end the sentence with a period before the smilie.
'Ok ok. Don`t waste paper, but I ran out of room on the other page Nisha! '
There should be a comma in between the oks.
~The Better Stuff~
I like how we find out more about the characters here. (Despite the previous part
Let's delve deeper.....
' Our squad was going to rule the universe
LOVE this part! It's so funny! Hey, is there any way I could get in on that....?
'I need to tell you something...I won't be going to Eternity Hollows either…'
Oh, it feels so sad! I feel so empty right now!
'You had to leave our crazy little squad halfway through the summer!'
I love the--even though it's small--description of their squad here. It even adds to the sadness of leaving. Still very effective, though.
'I am moving to a clapboard victorian in Maryland. The sad thing is that I just found out! I didn’t get a chance to tell you earlier and you already left for your new school….'
It's great how you're demonstrating the story in some kind of way!
Anyway, I love this. It's very interesting and it's been a while since I've read a story that was mostly letters (that was a really good book!), which makes it all the more interesting. Keep it up!
Stay awesome and happy holidays!
~Holographic Ladybug
Thanks for the review. Now the next one will be up by Christmas Day. Merry Christmas to you. We had written this in Google Docs so it was in a different font, where you basically couldn't tell anything. Me, the idiot, forgot to read over it. So hope that explains a problem. Thanks for the compliments. One question though, my vocabulary isn't that great so, what does delve mean? Is it a synonym for dive, or something?
Delve is like 'get more into' or 'get more specific'. Something along those lines.
Glad I could be of service!