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Re: Lullaby for A Stormy Night
'the sky was crying for her'- were 'she pretended didn't exist'- she pretended what didn't exist? 'became evident'- Could have been phrased better. 'though another day.'- I assume you meant ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: flowing river
Watch the river flow, And carry away emotions. Watch as it makes its way Past hatred and love; Past sorrow And joy. Watch the river flow As you remember the ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: Not sure what to call this
Yesterday there was no happiness , Yesterday there was no glee , (a fan? :b) Yesterday I was just a space filler , But yesterday I found the real me. ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: Waves of Death (see spoiler)
I looked over the horizon : The water shining in the sunset , The waves rippling against the shore , The water that I would forever grudge . (you don't ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: based on peter pan story with my twist
"one night your window was open , so I sat on the sill and watched you try to sleep . I told you that I could fly you out of ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: Night
Well, I feel a bit wasting my time- obviously you didn't really try. But well, I'll take a shot: Lying in an pool of water, floating in a sea of ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: darker times
When she's just talking to me And it feels like she's SCREAMING IN MY EAR , It makes a tear drop from my eye , You can't really call it ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: Metamorphoses
Lovely- the mythological touch adds a lot- and I think it was an excellent poem, with a lot of meaning and depth. I enjoyed reading it, greatly. few problems: 1. ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: when i was young
when I was young, I flew on a rainbow . I flew throught the sky. I flew like a bird . when I was young , the sun shone so ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: How Come?
I'm sorry in advance for the short comment. First thing- I liked the message- but you could have done so much better in the poem writing. I think you could ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: free
Time for some nitpicks! "where to go ? what to do ? what to dream ? what to hope ? empty answers , empty hearts . I cannot see - ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: I'm Strong Enough
I used to think that I needed someone to love me. A strong shoulder to lean on, a warm hand to hold. But, as time goes by, I'm slowly realizing ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: Okay?
In front of God I plea “Let something good happen to me!”(don't actually rhyme) My prayers have ceased somewhere on this page My hope became pieced That God above, crushed ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: At The Tongue of The Critic
The words I craft drip, distastefully, from your lips And onto the floor where they run and spread Until they are thin and meaningless rabble. I try to salvage them, ...
Aug 28, 2011 -
Re: Lost
Lost in a sea of strangers , Silently they call my name . Hands grasping onto me - Pulling me in many directions . Soft sobs of indecision ; Love ...
Aug 28, 2011