StoryWeaver13

First off, welcome to the site! Okay, so first off, to post your work you'd probably just want to copy and paste it onto here, it's just a little easier ...

After twenty or so minutes I would just change the order to "After twenty minutes or so..." That was the only grammar thing I caught. Otherwise, I'm not sure I ...

Alice gazed at the stars that surrounded her. They were pinpricks of light, of hope, among the deep engulfing dark. Her breaths came easily, despite the lack of oxygen around ...

Okay, so this is pretty awesome. I pretty have no complaints plot-wise so far except that maybe you could clarify what's happening a little more...but it's the prologue, so no ...

Wow, I need to make one of these. I was glad to see that I've done at least some things on your list, but I haven't done too many. Well, ...

Okay, here I am for another review after the prologue, even though Stephanie Meyer's totally ruined my appetite for vampire novels. Actually, this wasn't too bad. I think right now ...

Okay, first I'll get to the points you mention beforehand. 1) The only error is when you typed this actual "what I need help with" part and write know instead ...

First off, after reading this chapter I'm all for joining the group. Second, I love the cover for it; I'm jealous, because I've never been good at making covers for ...

Well, this wasn't too bad at first, but then you bordered overly-angsty with the last line, and it takes away from your poem's credibility. I just think you could've avoided ...

I liked this. Of course, I'm a little biased because of how much I love all things nature-oriented. Still, I understood the imagery and you did a good job with ...

I like you're character, her narration is relateable but more mature than most teens, which I personally respect. But even in this short piece, you're able to make her 3-dimensional ...

Cool, pyramid! Anyways, your actual poem. It's simple and blunt, but not necessarily bad. Saying that, though, I kind of wish you'd put more depth into it. It was just ...

Here, as promised. ;) I was young. I was sick. Did I know you? Did I comprehend? I think the other reviewer asked this too, but...comprehend what? Overall, this was ...

This was amazing! Of course, I was born mastering this art (not to brag or anything...) but to those who aren't socially-impaired I'm sure this will be a lot of ...

The bell above the door had jingled as it would have for any other customer waltzing in for a burger or a cup of coffee before a late shift, but ...