Stori

The revision was good.

Just out of curiosity, what does your name stand for?

Don't forget, punctuation goes inside the quotes.

How come you turned it upside down?

Wow. That blew me away. The second part threw me, thought. What are you trying to accomplish?

Talk about a rough life.

I think it's good work. What inspired you to write this?

Good work, and welcome to the site.

Good job.

It's a good start. But maybe you should give more description of the characters, what they look like, how they think, that sort of thing.

Well, it certainly is interesting. I don't know why, but about the main character, I kept thinking, "Zidane.'

I would drop the capitals on "bird." It's just a bird, right?

This has a very strong rythm. Keep it up.

Good job. I didn't find any obvious errors.

You could have an author's note in the work that says her name means "two."