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Re: Bestial Conflict - Chapter 1 - Revised
after all the effort. "All that effort"; don't worry so much about it though.
Sep 6, 2010 -
Re: The Valley of Dying Stars (excerpt)
he’d shouted at me. He’d shouted at me and my little sister Sophie. You may want to fix this.
Sep 6, 2010 -
Re: Bear Lake
who inhabited her domain. Up till now, you never referred to the lake as "she." I did as I was bade, I'm fairly sure this ought to be "as I ...
Sep 5, 2010 -
Re: Different Every Time
You seem to have misplaced the "Y" in "Every".
Sep 5, 2010 -
Re: Leader? Me?
As a matter of fact, I've been letting this story collect dust. I'll do my best to polish this up and add more.
Sep 1, 2010 -
Re: Harana (Serenade)
Antonio started,” Make sure you fix that quotation mark. Good story.
Aug 7, 2010 -
Re: Makes you think
It generally isn't polite to us all capital letters. “I’m getting good to go reports from the mechanical engineers, the scientist s
Jul 31, 2010 -
Re: Fledgling: a Short Story, Pt. 2/2
You still tend to refer to Gray as "him" sometimes, "it" other times.
Jul 23, 2010 -
Re: Fledgling: a Short Story Pt. 1/2
Just wondering, Esther. Do the characters have names?
Jul 23, 2010 -
Re: The Price of a Vampire (Part 1 of 2)
Hi Kara. I just spotted one error in the story. patch relations with the them? Just go ahead and remove "the".
Jul 17, 2010 -
Re: Books you loved more than the movie...
A more recent entry to this... Bridge to Terebithia. They fairly well ignored the author's story and put in some nice special effects. If you want a movie adaptation of ...
Jul 15, 2010 -
Re: The last of Krash
Have one thing to point out. A!, I think you must've been holding down the shift key. No worries!
Jul 15, 2010 -
Re: My life changed in and instant...
By the way, I caught two small mistakes here. The first, in the title, is "and" in place of "an". After that, where it says investors would clamber to help ...
Jul 10, 2010 -
Re: Measuring Cups
All that's true. In fact my family has a set of the encyclopedias you described.
Jul 10, 2010 -
Re: A Nursery In Paris, 1783
Hi. I just had one little concern here. You tend to order sentences, "While doing this, I did that." Check the fourth paragraph. I believe it ought to be "rang" ...
Jun 18, 2010
