Published September 5, 2010
The tears are burning in my eyes.
His words of wisdom.
Do as he says? Say my goodbyes?
Infatuation.
Simply a father? My father's son?
Adoration.
No brother could be my lovely one.
Infatuation.
Strong emotions like no other?
Simplicity?
Or another word? I shall not utter.
Infatuation.
Is avoidance my only chance?
Animosity!
Avoid he, who makes my heart dance?
Infatuation.
Agony, Anguish, Infidelity, Pain.
Beautifully scarred...
All against he who calls my name!
Infatuation!
Another hurt,
Another love.
More confusion.
Different Ever Time.
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141,616 Literary Works • 675,164 Reviews
Hi LukanRinta! How are you? I think this is my favorite poem of yours. I'm trying to find something wrong with it, but I really, honestly can't detect very many mistakes. Except, of course, for the misplaced "Y" in "every," as Stori pointed out.
The second line here seems a little random to me. His words of wisdom? It sort of leaves the reader feeling like, "Okay. His words of wisdom. So what?"
Do you mean, "Simply a brother? My father's son?" This seems like it would make more sense.
Overall, lovely poem! It rolls off the tongue very pleasantly, although the topic of the poem isn't exactly pleasant. I like poems that are like that, for some reason. Anyway.
I might make one more suggestion. Why not name the poem "Infatuation?" Just a thought.
- Abigail
You seem to have misplaced the "Y" in "Every".