Stori

Ok, I shall be your first critiquer. I dart my mother an evil glare as I head up the stairs slamming the door on the way. Also, a comma after ...

Well, Glad, we meet again. Feeling hopelessness begin to worm it's way Its alert there! How am I supposed to make it through Gerudo's Desert?' Since this isn't it a ...

Wow, that was great. I caught only one or two minor errors. I assure you; I would not betray the government. I think the semicolon could be a comma. sludge-brown ...

You did a good job with this, Do. I found some errors, but they're easy to fix. "He's kind of annoyed." Jake whispered into my nightshirt. A comma usually goes ...

Welcome back Valor! The entire room held it's breath, waiting. Should be "its." Like disturbed insects the inhabitants of the table drifted away; I think that's supposed to be a ...

As usual, I'm going to point out some errors in grammar. and the first page of the boo-" "the first page?" Just me, but I think T should capitalized in ...

I don't think I've read anything this good in a while. Here's a few points: the dialog often had a comma where a full stop should be. The second bit ...

Couldn't help noticing a few comma misuses, so I'll point 'em out. He watched, a spectator in his own body(,) as the snake sinuously made its way forward. The snake ...

An intriguing start, I'd say. You had a few punctutation errors. just like her mother's. Don't forget the old apostraphe! His voice exploded across the silent room; A comma works ...

First critique, great! "Come out," Sunpaw ordered, Semicolon rather than a comma. It's another complete thought. Here too: , a hint of amusement appeared. “Mhm,” Scram said mildly, “But I ...

Again, a good job of making this feel like a Warriors book. I spotted a few typos but nothing major. The course sand scraped the pads of her feet Coarse ...

'Ello. and doesn't a rude comment make anyone's blood boil?Well Space between the question mark and W. I'm practically a black pudding. Full stop right there. Please help!? It isn't ...

He glanced outside at the raging weather, the lightning made him nervous. Replace the comma with a semicolon. That shows two complete thoughts are expressed in one sentence. Here too: ...

"What now Brightpaw?" Comma after now, I'd say. Brightpaw seemed unphased, "Come on Brightpaw!" Put a full stop after "unphased." And another comma after "on." All in all, I like ...

And so, silent He became. Don't end the sentence there. It's not complete. He abides in the void, Aided by two. His bow, And his quiver. Might work better as, ...