Stori

Hello Always! There was one small nitpick I wanted to point out. A picture immediately fell out of a house This sounds like the picture is falling out of the ...

The ship stretched the whole length of the hangar, making it almost twenty-seven miles long, Ben had once put forward an idea to have a deck that was completely bare, ...

O.o wow. I have six sibs too, but I don't know if I could cope with six sisters. And they're all one year apart? My computer sat contentedly on my ...

Hello Tiger Shaard! Grabbing some bread, and a can of tuna, plus the mayo from the fridge, she threw together a tuna sandwich and took a big bite. Here might ...

Great work. Shockingly, he proved incapable of turning his head three hundred and sixty degrees. This struck me as funny, as I'm sure you intended. “Come on,” I told him, ...

Well, Son, I tell you, Life for me ain't been no crystal stair. It's had tacks on it, And nails, And places with no carpet on the floor.... bare. Well, ...

"Cloud?" It was Barrett; his machine-gun arm, the burden of the snake, was gone. "Hello, Barrett. How's it going?" The old soldier grinned. "The wedding? Never thought you'd be afraid ...

Thanks to you too. I've got a story to tell, see, and I can't do it alone. I need everyone I can, to take on every project I can. So, ...

So sad. So very well-written. A red balloon mars the otherwise black canvas that is the sky on that cheery Tuesday morning. Very good way to start this out. I ...

I should make a note: don't listen to "Breath" right before I read this. Seriously. "I know that I can't fight The fire in your eyes. I'm going all the ...

Snow was walking with Adrian, neither of them speaking. This is a big mistake! Don't open a piece with a "telling" sentence. Instead, describe the friends and their environment. As ...

Thank you. It's appreciated. :) not even sure what they want too be Want to be. Don't forget: "too" is also. It never means anything else. I find it hard ...

Right. First of all, never begin a sentence with "and" or "but". This is especially true if it's in the very beginning of a piece, like here: And our bedroom ...

Oh, I like this. It could use some help with punctuation, but that's what I"m here for. :) One day all the roses died. Not all at once, just one ...

Yeah, I've got some of those. If I'm nervous, freaked out, or just plain mad, my throat muscles constrict. Sometimes I grunt or take a deep breath to stop it. ...