StoneHeart

Okay, this prologue was better than the previous one, though it ended less openly. Okay, but it had more grammar mistakes. Your style is still . . . weird? The ...

Okay, this was great. You have a very interesting way of writing, I've never read a book written from this person, I'm not even sure what it's called . . ...

Okay, this was great. However, I really am feeling that this is not the first chapter of the book. Are only girls in charge in this world? Nice names too ...

Okay, this was great in my opinion. It was well written, and your grammar and style are exquisite. But I can really tell it isn't finished, and you seriously need ...

Okay. Why didn't he post it??? Anyway, the idea of this story, I'm sorry to say, sucks. I'll summarize. There's a murderous elf (Who appears to be becoming the hero) ...

Okay, this was interesting. But, the listeners interrupt too much, when you're listening to a story, you don't interrupts every couple of sentences, you let the story teller take their ...

Ah, your rewrite was good, but it doesn't have anything to do with the dog jumping over the fox at all. . . I really am not overly familiar with ...

Wow, this was amazingly well written. It gave me feeling, a feeling I can't really put my finger on. . . a feeling that you where pointing at something. Your ...

Wow, you have no idea how much this reminds me of this one story I wrote last year. . . WoW. Good work, good use of commas and periods, good ...

Okay. This was interesting. I usually enjoy this type of book, but the lack of originality really gives it a bad name, seriously, make up your own band or something ...

Okay, I like the way this feels. It seems like a good start for a book. It's a little bit repetitive in some spots, and that's not ideal. A few ...

Okay. I'd really like to read that prologue. Anyway, the 'bloody rain' makes you think there's blood in the rain, or at least it makes me think that, seeing as ...

Okay, this was interesting. Exceptional nice grammar and spelling, it was impressive there. Your whole story though has a few problems, overall I'd advise trying to put a bit more ...

Bleh, I hate the politics of guilt! They suck. Very emotional here, hooking, sad, and provoking. Your grammar is exquisite, and your style is good. The only minus I can ...

Okay, a 14 year old writing 16 + stuff . . . seriously? Anyway, this was different. When you write a novel like this it's really pretty needless to say ...