Squall

Hrmm interesting. Guild wars. I heard it is a good MMORPG. Might try it out sometime. First of all. Spacing please!! I nearly had to use eye drops (not really ...

Hrmm I realized in some bits there was more telling than showing. For example: She leant over and kissed him with such passion he was shocked he felt tears coming ...

Hrmm it's quite short for a chapter. Didn't really tell me much besides the fact that the mirror is dangerous and they are a couple. Expand more on the situation ...

Hi JCobsesed, remember me? lol I quite liked the perspective that you wrote the vampire in. The ideas she portrayed I believe were quite intruging. However, I had two problems ...

Hrmm it was good but confusing at the same time. The conversation kinda threw me off a bit. Maybe because there was a bit of a lack of scenary description ...

Judging from your descriptions, this takes place somewhere similar to our time? I can really echo what everyone else is saying, not to mention it is too short for me ...

Hi Vernon. I noticed some grammatical mistakes when I was reading this. Missing punctuation, run on sentences etc etc. It really distracts the flow of the story. I had to ...

Haha this was a crack up lol. Lucy I could have never come up with that. I can't really think as openly as you. I love how you combine the ...

Hrmm I think the first half of this was kinda boring. Not enough substance in the first half to entertain me. It was like watching some black and white people ...

Haha I like Quinn's personality. She seems to be quite open and active and doesn't really mind showing her "cough" :twisted: You made some grammer and spelling errors. I'm not ...

My God Vernon, you've taken nudity to the extreme haven't you? lol Ok overall I think it was ok in the ideas but here are some problems I had while ...

Nice work. One of the few stories on the fantasy forum that has ever kept my attention. Well done XD I love how you bleneded magical elements in a modern ...

Prelude In the time of your Ancestors, there was a brave tribe that decided to cross the great sea that they lived by, to create new settlements. And so they ...

Yet a strange part of him, an animal instinct begged her not to stop, to keep draining his energy so he would be soulless like her. -- Is soulless spelt ...

Like I said, this is good and the characters make me want to read this more. It's funny that I told you to make this a fantasy, as I plan ...