Squall

Hey Valor, I'm back. I've actually found time to critique part 2. Might as well get started, since I quite like critiquing your work, as it is quite challenging to ...

Hey Valor, I did promise to do this. (This is number 1 of the 75 critique challenge in a week). Apparently, the man who said ‘you are what you choose ...

Hello Camille. I bet Gwen did told you that I'm going to review this. She was right :D Prepare yourself thy mortal, this is a critique served extra hot from ...

The moment that you have been waiting for Vernon "does sarcastic gasp". Alexzander heard nothing as he bowed several times and smiled, arrogantly rolling his eyes, down at the peasants ...

Hey there, and welcome to YWS. Through the window, charred ruins of decades past could be seen. Can you show to us as to how the ruins were decades past? ...

Round 3, get ready. A soft thudding caressed my head, small warm pricks moved up and down on my arms. Thudding and caressed? How does that work? Thudding is more ...

Round 2, Around his waste a long dagger hung from a belt along with a small pouch. Waist. There should be a comma after "waist". "Calm down, here drink this." ...

Hey Gwen, This is ok. The main problems with the piece is 1. this concept has been done before 2. the descriptions you've used don't really work together that well ...

Hey there Gazza, The problem with this piece is that some of the ideas are rather vague and under developed. For example: Su Grey had never wanted to write. She ...

Hey there Valor. Do take note that I know that there are chapters before this and a prologue, I am only critiquing this solely on this chapter. Their master watched ...

Hey there Princess Pingu, “Heroism is the brilliant triumph of the soul over flesh –that is to say, over fear... Heroism is the dazzling and brilliant concentration of courage. “ ...

"gasps" Adam! Why didn't you tell me that you have a new chapter up lol -.- All was quiet save the lone bus filled with students. I think there should ...

Hey there Suz, She swore she would hear he knees knocking if the rain wasn’t smothering all sound. Typo with "he". Should be "her". Her emerald dress was covered in ...

Hey Hunter, “Damned humans think they own the world,” he snarled, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, snagging briefly on the tusks that jutted from his jaw. ...

Hey there, darkdove Emaline Walker awoke late at night from an uncomfortable sleep ,she twisted in her bed and finally got up and paced around her room. The part where ...