SpencerNolanRivers

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if the world were to fall .[b] There should be a period at the end instead of a comma. [b]I f the ...

I only read a small fraction of this. I could not bring myself to read the rest due to all the errors and terrible style of writing. I can see ...

But most of all, Amy knew not to bring up Martin. It would be better if you were to not use the word "But," especially if you are going to ...

I liked this a lot, though some parts were really confusing. I love the way you write overall, though some parts I wish to change. I was not expecting a ...

The roar of the nearby crowd overwhelmed Kyle Stone’s senses; I hate that you introduced the main character to directly and just in the first sentence of the story. singing ...

I couldn't get half-way through the story without being irked by these mistakes; and when he finally came home for a two week break... That word should be inserted to ...

On the writing: You have really improved. Good job. On the plot: How come the characters are acting like someone being in love with their own cousin is no big ...

The girl calls herself Nicole. Why, at what age, and how? she found these clothes in the dump a long time ago. "This" should be changed into "These." We'll get ...

I started to read and then I had to bring myself to a hault. There are a lot of mistakes in this script here. 1) You are not capitalizing the ...

“Hi, can I have … a croissant and a … hot chocolate please? I really don't think the "..."s are needed, and it'd be best if you were leave them ...

A woman stands at the counter , making sandwiches. That comma there is not needed. She is tall, pretty , with long honey brown waves... I do not like how ...

A car, about 500 miles away , d efinitely to o fast. It's best to just state "Miles," instead of abbreviating with a lowercase M. Secondly, the second sentence should ...

I woke to the the dead silence of the on-going night. I do not understand how someone could be awakened by silence. It would've been much better if you had ...

Once inside , the aroma of coffee was so enticing he knew that he was going to spend his last dollar to have a cup. There should be a comma ...

well, in one word : awesome. There should be a colon. Bad, bad, bad. Not needed. Overall: I think the story is very cliche' and short. You should give us ...